Happy eternal sunshine week to those of us who have stanned Ariana Grande since “Put Your Hearts Up” and Victorious! To address the elephant in the room: It’s International Women’s Day, and I support women’s rights and women’s wrongs. Period. Did you make the culture-changing masterpieces Sweetener, thank u, next, and Positions? Didn’t think so. So, let’s all calm down and embrace the Grammy-worthy bops we get after A-list pop divas live their juiciest lives. That being said, I obviously clive for tea, and Miss Ariana spilled piping hot gallons all over this album.
At this point, most of the population is aware that she was married to celebrity real estate agent Dalton Gomez before going off to Wicked Land in London and meeting her costar and true soulmate, Ethan Slater. Ariana received hate not only because he isn’t as stereotypically attractive as her former lovers (you people are so shallow), but also because they were both married when they met and ~bonded~. Ethan is the father of a new baby, which did not help the matter. It all culminated in two highly-publicized divorces.
With her brand new concept album eternal sunshine (inspired by the classic Jim Carrey movie), Ariana fills in details about the emotional ordeal that we didn’t get from tabloid reports. She seems to give us hints about the timeline of the alleged affair… and possibly imply that Dalton had his own affair? Allow me to take you on a lyrical analysis journey.
“How can I tell if I’m in the right relationship? / Aren’t you really supposed to know that shit?”
A big question indeed! This is the very first line of the album, and it sets us up for rest of the brutally honest and painful story. Ariana gives us a look inside her head as she’s in the beginning stages of questioning her marriage. Later in the song, she reveals that she’s been thinking about an interaction with a different guy (presumably Ethan) for the past five weeks. My jaw dropped.
“I fall asleep cryin’/ You turn up the TV / You don’t wanna hear me one more sleepless night”
This lyric from “don’t wanna break up again” made me sad when I first blasted it. She seems to open up about her marriage falling apart and Dalton ignoring her pain. Ari even appears to refer to their marriage as a “situationship” in the chorus. BRB while I go scream with relief that I’m not married to my most recent situationship.
“Showed you all my demons all my lies / Yet you played me Atari / Now it’s like I’m lookin’ in the mirror / Hope you feel alright when you’re in her”
The title track is the most interesting song on the album because it seems to introduce a new piece of the narrative we didn’t know from headlines. Does Dalton deserve some blame for how things went down? In “eternal sunshine,” Ariana says there was another woman in her bed and claims she was “played.” A celebrity real estate agent? Not trustworthy? I simply can’t believe it.
“The boy is mine / I can’t wait to try him / Let’s get intertwined / The stars, they aligned / The boy is mine”
After Ari leaves her questioning phase, she appears to own her new romance with Broadway’s SpongeBob himself on “the boy is mine.” I interpret this catchy bad girl anthem as her playing the overconfident villain role the public imagined.
“How could we know / We’d rearrange all the cosmos / We crashed, and we burned / Now I just can’t go where you don’t go
Sigh. This song, “imperfect for you,” is pop perfection. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s a love letter to Ethan, acknowledging everything they’ve been through. She expresses how happy she is to stay with someone, knowing that they can handle so much and come out stronger. Wishing Ethiana the best, but mostly wishing for a world tour.
