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Cole And Lili Broke Up Again, But This Time Feels For Real

For the six of you who are somehow still watching Riverdale, I’m so sorry. As we all know, we’re in a major period of celebrity breakups, and another couple has bitten the dust. Over the weekend, it was reported that Lili Reinhart and Cole Sprouse have broken up after three years of dating, and it seems like it might be real this time. I don’t know if there’s anyone who’s actually surprised about this, but I guess it’s still a big deal.

On Monday, People and Page Six both reported that sources confirmed that Cole and Lili are no longer together. According to the Page Six source, they “split before the pandemic hit, and have been quarantining separately.”  The source added that “they remain good friends,” because god forbid two celebs hate each other like normal exes. If this timeline is accurate, then I’ve got a long list of follow-up questions.

The biggest indicator of this split came last week, when Riverdale actor Skeet Ulrich slipped up on an Instagram Live. When asked by a viewer if he thinks Cole and Lili are a cute couple, he responded “I think they were a cute couple.” Lmao, WERE. His girlfriend, Megan Blake Irwin, chimed in, agreeing that they *were* a cute couple, and added that “they’re both beautiful people.” I love mess. How many angry texts do you think Cole and Lili sent Skeet after this? My guess is more than three, less than 12. How bizarre that in 2020, half of our celeb news comes from people saying things they weren’t supposed to say on Instagram Live. Mason Disick was ahead of his time.

As we all know, this is not the first time that Cole and Lili have been on the receiving end of breakup rumors. Last summer, it seemed like they allegedly (maybe?) broke up, but then they clapped back with that bizarre magazine cover and some smug Instagram captions. We never found out if they actually split up during that time, which is exactly how they wanted it.

But the current breakup apparently happened a couple months ago, which would explain last month’s rumors that Cole was hanging out with/dating/hooking up with Kaia Gerber. Of course, this led to a lot of speculation about the status of his relationship with Lili, but no one actually knew anything for sure. He seemed to respond to those rumors in an Instagram story, referencing “rumors and slander” and saying that “while I truly never intended to indulge any part of my private life to the ravenous horde, it’s clear my restraint in updating them has allowed them to push their own agenda onto my habits and lifestyle.” He also told everyone to “eat my delectable plump ass,” because of course he did.

I get that being an asshole on social media is kind of Cole Sprouse’s thing, but this couple has always rubbed me the wrong way. Cole and Lili have always been one of those couples who seem to want it both ways. Like, they star on a hit show together, and have done joint red carpets and magazine covers, but they always seem weirdly caught off-guard when their millions of fans are curious about their relationship. Of course, everyone is entitled to privacy, but Cole Sprouse has been at this a little too long to act surprised at people prying into his personal life.

I certainly wouldn’t expect any kind of confirmation from Cole and Lili on this one, but these sources feel pretty realistic to me. We always knew that this quarantine period was going to lead to a lot of shifts in celebrity couples, and now we can just add Bughead to the list of quarantine breakups. That being said, it wouldn’t shock me if they’re suddenly back together next time they have to do Riverdale press. The network heart wants what it wants!

Images: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com

Dylan Hafer
Dylan Hafer has watched over 1000 episodes of Real Housewives because he has his priorities in order. Follow him on Instagram @dylanhafer and Twitter @thedylanhafer for all the memes you could ever want.