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Ouch! Celebs Share Their Painfully Relatable Postpartum Sex Stories

I don’t know about you, but I love when celebrities give TMI. Tell me about your messy breakup, how much you hated your parents, and that your on-screen best friend of 10 years is actually a bitch. Celebrities have to go through so much media training and be so calculated about what they say that they’re basically as honest as politicians (lol). So when there are moments when my fave stars give all the nitty gritty details about their lives, I really eat it up — especially when it’s about celebrity sex lives

And I don’t just mean how fabulous their sex lives are — I mean, all of the things that might actually make them seem like normal people. When celebrities are open and honest about their sexual experiences, it not only makes them seem more real but it can actually be helpful to their fans — especially when they’re honest about things like their postpartum sex lives

While the general public’s definitely come a long way in terms of expectations for postpartum people, the idea of “snapping back” and “going back to normal,” are still pretty prevalent today. And these ideas still apply to sex too. There’s typically a six-week waiting time for people who gave birth to start having sex again, but sometimes that period is arbitrary because everyone’s body is different. 

So if you’re ever feeling down about your sex life after giving birth, here are some celebrity postpartum sex stories that are totally relatable. Because if a Kardashian isn’t feeling their best after birth, where’s the hope for the rest of us?

Kourtney Kardashian

kourtney kardashian
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“I don’t know, but once the doctor gave us the okay, we were like excited to try it, but it was very painful. It felt like a metal pole is literally ramming you in the crotch.”

Snooki

snooki
Image Credit: Jamie McCarthy via Getty Images

“I waited six weeks with my two older kids because I ripped. This third delivery I didn’t rip probably because I had two kids so my vagina is huge, I guess. Actually, it doesn’t feel that bad down there. But I still want to wait just in case something happens and I do rip during sex. But after you have a baby vaginally and then have sex, it doesn’t feel right at first. It feels like you are a virgin again. It just hurts. It’s uncomfortable. It starts to feel good after you get into the motions, but you need a lot of lube, let’s just put it that way.” 

Christine Quinn

christine quinn
Image Credit: MEGA via Getty Images

“It’s because, after a month, I finally had sex. … Yeah, I did. It was after a month. It was amazing. It was great. Popped an Ambien, got some Dom [Pérignon]. It was nice. It was really good. He’s really good at, like, holding it back. He’s, like, a pro. He knows how to control it.”

Nikki Bella

nikki bella
Image Credit: Bravo via Getty Images

“It was a little different. I felt like organs were about to drop out. I was like, shoot, did I mess up?”

Syeda Khaula Saad
Syeda Khaula Saad is a sex & dating writer at Betches despite not remembering the last time she was in a relationship. Just take her word for it.