Say
Yes
to
the
Betch

Why does everyone think they’re like, the healthiest person in the world?

You're gonna feel it tomorrow.

There are a million online workouts that will drive you batshit crazy looking for every machine, kettlebell, booty band, and yoga mat out there.

So you might think the hardest part of working out is getting your ass to the gym, but once you get there, it suddenly occurs to you that you’re ready to bounce after five minutes.

There’s something about lunchtime in New York City that’s just so tough.

Everyone knows when it comes to going to the gym, getting there is the hardest part.

New York betches are pretty deprived by not living near a beach.

People who wake up with a hangover and head straight to 9AM bootcamp are less relatable than people who choose the middle seat on a plane.

Whether you just got home from work or you’re too hungover to open the door for your Seamless guy, making it to the gym isn’t always priority number one.

We heard Kendall Jenner say in an interview once that she works out during commercial breaks, and needless to say, we were floored.

There are so many things about a desk job that are so not betchy, but we put on a brave face from 9 to 5 because we need money.

Betches have sworn by iced coffee forever, but recently, the trend has spread to literally everyone.

As much as we respect the girl who gets up at the crack of dawn to make her 6am SoulCycle class, not everyone can do that, and not everyone wants to do that.

Whether you spent your long weekend taking poolside tequila shots or eating lobster rolls while scouting out the underwhelming crowd at Gurney’s, you currently feel like shit.

The Fourth of July might be one of the best weekends of your summer, and even if it’s not, you looked good and blacked out by 2pm, so you deserve some recognition.

Whether it's your first summer in New York City or you've been here for like, five years but have never even made it to Brooklyn, everyone wants to check out the most hyped up spots in the city.

When you spend 80 percent of your weekends taking tequila shots and drunkenly begging some DJ to play "Despacito", it would be kinda nice to spend the other 20 percent doing something productive like working out.

Whether you’re blaming your laziness on your colossal hangover, your exhausting day of scrolling through Instagram, or your two-week overdue jet lag, you’re just not feeling a workout today.

It feels like ever since Khloé Kardashian began Snapchatting her workouts and girls everywhere started doing squat challenges in their living rooms, butt and leg workouts have been trendy AF.

Betches flock to the Hamptons for the summer like the birds fly to Florida in the winter.

In most states, betches wake up on Sunday morning with a colossal hangover and no plans to get out of bed until Monday—but not New York betches.

We don’t want to ruin your summer by making you give up your poolside chips and guac, but the Fourth of July is coming up in a few weeks and it’s time to get your shit together.

So you’ve gotten yourself out of bed and made it to the gym before 9am.

If you’ve scrolled through Instagram recently or walked through Penn Station wondering if there’s an LF convention in town, you’re well aware that festival season has begun.

Summer is the one time of year we can get shit faced during daylight hours and actually get away with it.

Summer goes by pretty fast, so you want to spend your time wisely.

It’s almost June, and with Memorial Day coming up this weekend, you might be wondering why your summer body is taking so long to show up to the party.

In just a couple weeks, you’ll be showing more skin than Rihanna on any red carpet, so you’re obviously panicking over your lack of a beach bod.

Everyone’s been obsessing over abs and arms recently, but why would you start neglecting your lower body right as bikini season starts?

We can literally write a bible filled with the amount of questions and thoughts that go through our minds during a date, and deciding what to order goes on the top of the list.

Memorial Day weekend is in less than three weeks, and while some boring over-achievers have been dieting and hitting the gym since February, we’ve been busy like, eating cheese fries on 4/20 and slurping down margaritas on Cinco de Mayo.

In case you missed it, Starbucks launched their Unicorn Frappuccino last week, proving to all of us that it was somehow possible for 12-year-old girls to hack the site’s menu portal and create this cup of pure rainbow shit.

There are so many bullshit products on the market that promise to clear up your skin overnight, but let’s be real: what you put in your body has so much more power.

If the red carpet segment of the Academy Awards got its own spin-off show with even more paparazzi and less Ryan Seacrest commentary, it would be the Met Gala.

We’ve already established that getting rock hard abs comes down to diet and discipline, but some toning exercises will def help when it comes to getting rid of your love handles and defining your tummy area.

Abs have been a hot topic for a while now, so let’s talk about them: what they are, how to get them, and like, if we even want them. (The answer to that last question is an obvious yes.) Getting abs became trendy in the early 2000’s around the time when people started to realize they wanted J.Lo’s six pack instead of Mary-Kate Olsen’s emaciated rib cage.

We’re not gonna be the vacation police and tell you not to eat carbs when you’re on vacation, or to hit the hotel gym at 6am before everyone else wakes up for the day.

If you’re working out at the gym, first of all, congratulations.

We all know summer is getting closer and the words “summer body” make you want to stay indoors in your 5-year-old XXL Kappa Gamma T-shirt, but it’s time to get your ass up and go on a run.

If you showed up to Coachella this weekend with your LF denim shorts and your “good vibes only” flask thinking you were set for the weekend, you’re probably experiencing a new level of Monday morning regret right now.

There are a lot of random workout trends and weird body goals that go in and out of style, but in 2017 everyone wants a good butt, no questions asked.

While this weekend has come and gone—everybody knows Sunday is not a real day of the week since you spend 90% of the day horizontal—there's always next weekend to make up for your mistakes.

Even though spring is technically here, it’s still cold AF and the thought of going outside to get to the gym is painful enough to put any human in bed for the night with two bottles of wine and enough takeout to feed a large family.

If you have trouble explaining to your parents what the Kardashians do, try answering the same question about Jonathan Cheban.

Working out is such a dilemma.

If you’re one of those people who clicks on any article called “7 Foods To Eat For A Six-Pack” or “Drink This Tea To Get You a Flat Tummy Tomorrow,” you’re gonna want to keep reading.

As much as we try our best to take care of ourselves and stay on top of our health, sometimes (aka every weekend) we slip up.

We’re not sure why, but brands always seem to come out with their coolest leggings toward the end of winter.

If you were watching the Oscars last night and were trying to figure out how these people show up looking fucking flawless, join the club.

So your Presidents Day Weekend was anything but presidential, and you basically spent the whole time alternating between being blackout drunk and violently hungover.