There are a lot of random workout trends and weird body goals that go in and out of style, but in 2017 everyone wants a good butt, no questions asked. I mean, ever since it became acceptable to go out in leggings and to wear bikinis that are made with less material than your red string bracelet from Birthright, the butt has really taken its place as one of the most important body parts. With summer coming up, the clock is fucking ticking, so get off your ass and get it toned and perky in time. Do each of these seven moves for 45 seconds each, then repeat the circuit another 2-3 times total for a kickass workout, pun intended (and the only acceptable occasion to use the word “kickass”).
1. Goblet Squats
Goblet squats sound scary, but they’re just regular squats that you’ll do while holding a kettlebell for added weight. We’re not hating on bodyweight squats, but you’ll see results so much faster while holding a heavy weight, so why do 500 normal squats when you can get a perkier butt by doing like 20 weighted ones? Exactly. Stand holding a kettlebell at your chest (15-40 pounds) with the horns facing downward. With your weight in your heels, squat down until your hamstrings are on your calves and remember to keep your chest and head up to avoid hurting your back. Pause for a second at the bottom, then come back up while squeezing your butt to activate your
thot powers muscles.
2. Split Squats
Split squats are different than conventional squats because they focus on your right and left sides individually, so you can hit every part of the muscle. This move actually looks more like a lunge, but they really target the bottom of your glutes, so you’ll feel them tomorrow morning. Stand with your right foot forward and your left foot behind you, with both knees bent. Dip downward, bending your legs into a 90-degree angle, trying to get your back knee to touch the ground. Then, come back up by driving through your heel. Alternate reps on each side, and remember to keep the front knee in line with your front foot. Add a weight in your hands if you’ve got it down.
3. Kettlebell Swings
Kettlebell swings are one of those exercises that can be done SO wrong if no one explains what the fuck you’re supposed to be doing. First of all, this is a LOWER BODY movement, so if you feel yourself using your arms too much, you’re doing it wrong. You’re supposed to feel it in your butt. The idea is to grab a heavy kettlebell (25-50 pounds), and place it on the ground in front of you. Hinge your hips and lift the bell up, hiking it in between your legs so that it’s basically touching your butt. Then, swing the bell forward with your hips, making sure it stays above your knees on the way up and swings to chest-height. Then keep swinging in that same motion from between your thighs to your chest. If you find it easy to swing it that high up, get a heavier kettlebell. Your ponytail should be a hot mess by the end of the 45 seconds.
4. Single Leg Raises
Single leg raises might actually be the single best exercise to make your butt perk up like, three inches. Make sure you take your time on these, because it’s not a fucking race. Start by laying on your back with both feet on the ground and your legs bent. Raise your hips up to the sky, like you’re in a bridge position in fourth grade gymnastics, and then point one leg up while keeping the other bent. Dip your butt up and down for 10 reps, then hold at the top for 10 seconds before you switch sides. Remember to squeeze your butt to really use your muscle. If you’re not feeling the burn and you feel like you’re just humping the sky, you’re not doing it right, and it’s pretty embarrassing and everyone is judging you.
5. Sumo Jump Squats
Tired of the word squat yet? Spoiler alert: too fucking bad. They work. These squats are amazing because they target your inner thigh area while getting your heart rate up, so you’re toning your butt and burning calories at the same time. Start in a regular squat position, but with your feet turned outwards, like an awkward ballerina. Then, squat down, and when you come up, add in a hop, keeping your feet turned outwards. Keep jumping as much as you can without stopping. You should feel the burn on your inner thighs pretty fast.
6. Donkey Kicks
These might sound like a weird sex move, but they’re actually an amazing toning move that targets the muscles in your thighs and butt, so stop being so skeptical and start kicking. Start on your hands and knees with one leg straight out behind you with your knee at a ninety-degree angle. Press your leg straight up, and alternate sides. Once you do regular reps on each side a few times, pulse the leg upwards for 10-20 seconds. If your shoulders get tired from being on your hands, switch to your forearms and/or do some fucking arm workouts and stop being such a weakling.
7. Star Jumps
The star jump is a cardio move, which means you’ll be ending this workout by jumping and sweating. Don’t cry yet. The idea is to get your heart rate up while working your butt and your inner thighs at the same time. Start in a narrow squat with your feet together and hands in front of you. Then, explode up into a high star-shaped jump, separating your legs and arms in the air and then bringing them back together as you land in that same narrow squat. Make sure to actually separate your legs while your jumping, or else you’re defeating the purpose of the move. Good luck walking up the stairs tomorrow.