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UPDATED: Arie & Lauren Had Their Baby

UPDATE: The world’s longest pregnancy is officially over, because on Wednesday afternoon, Arie and Lauren’s baby finally arrived. Lauren gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Alessi Ren, which I’m going to assume is a Dutch name I don’t know about, and not a girl version of the DJ Alesso. Arie first announced the news on his Instagram story, and then later in the evening, both he and Lauren posted photos of their new baby. That’s the difference between a Kardashian baby and a Bachelor baby. The Kardashians can keep an entire pregnancy secret, but with Arie and Lauren we practically knew this baby’s social security number 45 minutes after she was born.

While Lauren was in labor, Arie spotted prime opportunities for #content, and his Instagram story was a lot. First, Lauren guessed that her baby would be 6 lbs, 18 oz, which the internet promptly began to troll. I’ll give Lauren a little bit of slack and say it was the drugs talking, but I’m also not confident that Lauren knows there are 16 ounces in a pound. She doesn’t seem really, you know, math-y to me. Arie was literally taking videos of Lauren talking while she was in a hospital bed about to push out a baby, and I’m really just impressed that she didn’t hit the phone out of his hands. I’m sure they agreed on a certain amount of hospital content ahead of time, but still, give it a rest.

The most notable thing about Arie and Lauren’s new daughter is that she’s basically already an influencer. The Baby Luyendyk Instagram account already has 280,000 followers, so it’s probably only a matter of weeks before she starts posing for photos with Teami shakes. Like mother, like daughter! Honestly, the only surprising thing is that little Alessi was born like, 15 hours ago while I’m writing this, and she still hasn’t posted anything to her Instagram. Apparently Lauren is already struggling in her duties as a momager.

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29 weeks! This week I’m the size of a butternut squash. It’s a bit of an odd shaped vegetable, but I’ll take it. Mom and Dad went on a road trip this week and I learned RV life is fun. It felt like I was on a little rollercoaster for the last few days. Well enough about them let’s talk about me. This week I’m actually dreaming in here when I sleep and let me tell you baby dreams are so random. I had this dream Mom and Dad met on a TV show, like when would that happen ??‍♀️. Also my little head is getting bigger to make room for my growing brain. Expect me to be more witty week by week ? Other than that Mom has been showing me off and she tells me she’s proud of me. All the feels ❤️ Chat again next week, love you guys! #29weekspregnant

A post shared by Baby Luyendyk? (@babyluyendyk) on

Congrats to Arie and Lauren on their bundle of joy, and especially congrats to Arie because now his wife can work on getting “back to normal.” Sorry buddy, but I doubt she’ll want to go hiking anytime soon!

WEDNESDAY: Bachelor Nation is about to get a new member, because Arie and Lauren are about to have their first baby. Thanks to Arie keeping us updated on Instagram, we know that Lauren is in labor and in the hospital, which means that Baby Luyendyk should finally be making an appearance any minute. Late Tuesday night, Arie posted a photo of them at the hospital, with the caption “IT’S HAPPENING!” I’m honestly offended at how beautiful Lauren looks while she’s literally in labor, but here’s the photo anyway:

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IT’S HAPPENING!

A post shared by Arie Luyendyk (@ariejr) on

Over the past 24 hours, Arie’s Instagram story has been quite the journey. On Tuesday, Lauren had her 39-week appointment, and everything looked great. He and Lauren both talked about being ready, and he specifically said he can’t wait for her to be “back to normal” so she can hike and stuff. K, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to ever tell a woman that she’s not normal, but it probably went right over Lauren’s head.

Then, last night, the two of them were at home like nothing was happening, filming an IG story ad for some health drink. Honestly, they’re way more charismatic doing Insta story ads than they ever were on The Bachelor, so I guess I’m glad they found their calling. They seem so much better in real life than on TV, which is probably a good thing if you’re trying to make a marriage work. Still #TeamBecca tho.

But after the ad was posted, it was time for Baby Luyendyk to kick things into high gear. They got to the hospital late last night, and the Instagram stories kept going strong. First, Lauren complained about how long it took Arie to find a parking spot, and then she was pushing him around the hallways in a wheelchair, which ended up getting them in trouble. Clearly Lauren was still feeling fine at this point, but I don’t think most women have this much fun while they’re in labor.

A few hours after that, Arie updated us that Lauren’s contractions were two minutes apart, and then she got an epidural at about 5am, Arizona time. As of right now, they’re trying to get some sleep before the baby comes, but it really could be any time. I’m sure we’ll be updated via Instagram as soon as it happens, and I give it less than an hour until Baby Luyendyk posts its first official Instagram outside of the womb. These two are way too corny to let this opportunity get away from them.

Obviously, I’ll be back with updates as soon as we know more, because let’s be honest, I didn’t really want to get anything done today anyway.

Images: Shutterstock; @ariejr (4), @babyluyendyk / Instagram

Dylan Hafer
Dylan Hafer
Dylan Hafer has watched over 1000 episodes of Real Housewives because he has his priorities in order. Follow him on Instagram @dylanhafer and Twitter @thedylanhafer for all the memes you could ever want.