Aidan Shaw, I Have 20 Questions About Your Jacket Choice

Sweet ol’ Suffern-in’ Aidan finally made his return back to the Sex and the City universe Thursday evening in the most unsexy of ways. The boring, unceremonious, and completely-devoid-of-romance appearance was further punctuated by what can only be described as a heinous jacket. The flashy Belstaff jacket in question makes sense for, we don’t know, literally anyone else? We wouldn’t bat an eye seeing it on a Serious British Actor or Timothée Chalamet, but on Aidan, the backwoods, homegrown, furniture designer who would consider Pendleton haute couture – it just don’t make no sense! Below, 20 questions I’d propose to Mr. Shaw in wake of recent fashion crimes. 

1. How big was the alleged West Elm payout that allowed you to drop $595 on that jacket?
2. How do you know what Belstaff even is? 
3. Did a Bloomingdale’s personal stylist maybe try to convince you this was cool or sexy or “what the young kids are wearing”?
4. Out of all the things in your closet, you thought this jacket was the appropriate thing to wear on Valentine’s Day?
5. Out of all the things in your closet, you thought that that jacket was the appropriate thing to wear for seeing your ex fiancé after 13 years?
6. That being said, was it an attempt to show your lauded fashion ex-girlie that you’re stylish now?
7. Why are there so many pockets?
8. Is there anything *in* the pockets? Fishing lures? Worms? 
9. Why the all black? The Edward Scissorhands of it all!
10. Did you think to yourself, “I’ll look like Kendall on Succession!”?
11. Did one of your sons approve of this jacket/outfit? 
12. Did you call one of your sons over FaceTime 30 minutes before arriving   at the restaurant to hype you up in said jacket?
13. Is this jacket warm enough for mid-February New York City’s frigid air?
14. Why the long hair and the jacket? Baby, pick a struggle! 
15. Why did you keep the jacket on inside a classy New York restaurant?! On Valentine’s Day! 
16. Is this jacket a self-hate crime brought on by a mid-life crisis? 
17. Did you buy this jacket off an old man selling farm fresh corn on the side of the road en route to Suffern? 
18. Speaking of Suffern, is the jacket meant to be a snack vessel for your squirrel friends that visit your cabin?
19. Does the jacket also act as a self-inflating airbag system for NASCAR drivers?
20. Is the jacket in the room with us right now?