Ah, spontaneous sex — the gold standard of hotness, right? Every rom-com, every steamy novel, and every chaotic hookup in your early 20s made you believe that the best sex is the kind that just happens. Like, if you have to plan it, you might as well put on orthopedic shoes and call it a night.

But let’s be real: if you have a job, a social life, and a general desire not to be a feral raccoon of a human being, you probably do have to plan sex. And guess what? That makes it better.

If even the hottest, most TV-friendly couples are doing it, why are we still pretending that scheduled sex is some tragic last resort? Vanessa Lachey recently admitted that she and Nick Lachey literally have a designated sex day: Wednesday, AKA Hump Day. I know, how apt. 

Between their busy schedules — co-hosting Love Is Blind, starring in other TV shows, and raising three kids — Vanessa realized that if they didn’t make time for sex, it just wouldn’t happen. And honestly, same. Life gets busy. If you’re dating (or even just sleeping with) another adult human who also has a job and a social life (which I hope they do), you have to see where you can squeeze it in. Pun intended.

If you need more proof, keep reading for why scheduling sex is better for your relationship — and examples of other celebs who swear by scheduling their sexcapades.

Planning Sex Doesn’t Kill the Vibe — It Builds It

People love to act like scheduling sex takes away the “magic,” but let’s be honest: does rolling over in bed, realizing you technically have time for a quickie before your 8 a.m. Zoom and proceeding to have three minutes of mediocre half-asleep sex sound magical? Or does it sound like something that should have stayed in college?

When you plan sex, you’re giving yourself time to create a vibe. Instead of just throwing yourself into it, you can set the mood, actually shave, or at least moisturize — which is honestly the most self-respecting thing you can do before having sex. You can put on something that makes you feel hot, light a candle (or pull one out for some wax play), and actually look forward to it.

And don’t even get me started on the power of the pre-game sext. A little teasing throughout the day? A well-placed, suggestive emoji? That’s foreplay at its finest, and it makes the whole experience even hotter.

Nobody Wants to Have Sex While Mentally Editing Their To-Do List

Here’s the thing about adulthood: it’s a scam. At any given moment, there are 30+ things you should be doing, and if sex isn’t on the schedule, it’s probably not happening. Worse, if you do randomly hook up in the middle of a stressful week, you’re probably thinking about your inbox mid-thrust.

The older I get, the more I want sex to be something I can actually enjoy — not something I’m squeezing in between deadlines. When I schedule sex, I know I won’t be rushing through it or mentally preparing my grocery list. I can just be present and focus on connecting with my partner, which is really the whole point.

Scheduling Sex Helps You Prioritize Your Partner

Leaving intimacy up to chance means it might never happen, which isn’t great for, you know, a relationship. It’s easy to assume that sex will just “fit” into your life somehow, but if you don’t make time for it, you’ll go from “we’ll just do it later” to “Oh shit, it’s been three weeks.” And sure, sex isn’t everything to some people (I am not one of those people), but it is something.

So maybe you’re not having wild, unexpected hookups like you did when you were 22 and living off iced coffee and bad decisions. But you are making space for intentional, hot, and stress-free sex. And honestly? That’s way sexier. 

Celebrity Couples Who Schedule Sex

Gabrielle Union

Back when her husband, Dwayne Wade, was still playing basketball, Gabrielle Union said she’d schedule sex around his games, making sure to space it out. But off-season? That was a free-for-all.

Christina Aguilera 

On The Ellen Degeneres Show, Christina Aguilera shared that she practiced “Naked Sundays” in her household with her ex Jordan Bratman. They did everything naked around the house — so you can imagine what naked activity they often ended (or began) their days with.

Kristen Bell

Kristen Bell admitted to being on top of her sex life with her husband, Dax Shepard. If it’s been a while, they’ll check their schedules to see when they’ll be alone and have nothing to do — and plan to go at it then.

Jessica Alba

After receiving advice from a mom friend, Jessica Alba also adopted the whole scheduling-sex lifestyle. “My girlfriend Kelly shared one life-changing word with me: ‘Schedule!’,” Alba wrote in a column for iVillage. “She had transitioned her babies to a consistent 7 p.m. bedtime, so she knew that she could have some grown-up time each night.” When it comes to babies, she found this was a huge help.