When you hear the word Galentine’s Day, what do you think of, and why is ita neurotic single girl played by Jessica Biel in an Indian restaurant surrounded by a sad pink and red piñata? Her character’s Galentine’s party is a lonely fucking drag — until Jamie Foxx makes the group do Gloria Gaynor karaoke. But what if I told you could do more than just“survive” Cupid’s big day as a singleton?
“Galentine’s Day isn’t about being bored, bitter, or single — it’s about celebrating the friendships that bring joy, love, and meaning to our lives,” saysdating expert and After founder Katie Dissanayake.
Even though Katie created a dating app, she knows that platonic love relationships are “just as essential in building a happy, fulfilling life,” but for some reason, “our culture doesn’t tend to celebrate friendships the way we are used to celebrating romantic love through anniversaries, engagement parties, and weddings.” Ummm, great point. Why does another Y chromosome need to be present in order for my loved ones to shower me with love???
A real Galentine’s Day celebration is more than just a bitch sesh with your besties to complain about men (okay, a little bit of that is probs fine). If you want to stop thinking about “Galentine’s Day as a consolation prize,” here’s how to enjoy a meaningful Galentine’s Day.
“While romantic relationships can be special and important,” Katie says, they can’t be everything. Straight women (actually, all women) are consistently harassed by the P word over the importance of attracting and keeping a man. The pressure to “hyperfocus on dating and the search for ‘the one'” increases around Valentine’s Day, “making us feel we can’t be happy or even whole unless we’re in a relationship.” Looking at you, Jessica Biel’s character!
Katie notes that this line of thinking is “a reductive way to look at our lives.” Shifting the focus to other things in the world (and boy are there a lot more than boys) is an important part of a holistic life where you value yourself. So, how do you do it?
First, for at least today, put down the apps. Doomscrolling the dating apps “can take time away from your true passions and the people you love,” AKA the girlies making time to meet with you on a weekday.
Next, literally force your brain to sit in other thoughts on Valentine’s Day. Mindlessly drinking and eating is a mid distraction from the single scaries, versus actively putting effort toward your non-romantic relationships, achievements, and goals. Hit a new PR in the gym, call your mom, or maybe finally perfect that sourdough you’ve been test baking for weeks.
Lastly, start making plans to execute the cute activities you’ve been bookmarking on Pinterest for like a year. Diving into special experiences (instead of saving them for future date nights) will remind yourself that you don’t need a dude to try new things (or take cute pictures for Instagram). Use the day to book that “paint and sip, or that bowling alley, or even that weekend trip with a pal,” Katie advises.
2. Set Love Life Resolutions
Some overachievers probablyset their dating resolutions at the beginning of the year, but ICYMI, writing out your love life goals and exactly how you’re going to achieve them is a great mindful practice at your Galentine’s Day party. The key to setting new intentions is to reflect on “how you dated this past year, what you learned, and how you want to apply that to the year to come,” Katie says.
From there, a game plan for a game-changing year of love should reveal itself, whether you decide to stop “going to the same three bars in your neighborhood” or try dating “outside of your usual type.” Who doesn’t love a clear to-do list?
3. Cleanse Your Phone
Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that every bad date, shitty breakup, and ick initiation you’ve ever experienced has been done with your phone in hand? “If you’ve been dating for a while,” Katie predicts, “your phone is probably full of cringe-worthy notes app drafts” and like seven different Joes from Hinge.
Not to mention the fact that iPhone thinks it’s chill to randomly barrage us with memories from five years ago when you may have been in love with someone who is no longer in your life. Now is the time to “get the bad energy out” of your digital aura. Honestly, you can sage TF out of that thing if you’ve had some particularly heinous fuckboys playing in your phone.
4. Go deep with your girlfriends
“Galentine’s Day is a reminder that love exists in so many forms, and friendships deserve to be cherished and centered just as much as romance,” Katie says — and some of y’all really need to hear it!! Use the bonding time to check in with your besties on their life “the same way you’d have a relationship check-in with a partner…to understand if you’re supporting them the way they need you to.” What are their hopes for the year? What are their fears? How can you show up for them? Which SATC character are they feeling most connected to lately?
Asking these deep questions is the foundation of sisterhood that will hold you down through any relationship. And, even though this day is not about men, nourishing your friendships does benefit your love life in the long run. “When you already feel loved and supported, you can approach dating with confidence, openness, and a sense of fun rather than pressure or urgency,” Katie explains.
One last tip from Katie? If you’re not single, that doesn’t mean you’re not welcome at Galentine’s Day. Just be sure not to treat the event like “a lesser version of your Valentine’s date with your partner.” And maybe show up with extra champagne to pay it forward. Just an idea!
MARISSA is a trending news writer at Betches. She's more than just another pop-culture-addicted-east-coaster-turned-LA-transplant...she's also an upcoming television writer and aspiring Real Housewife (whichever comes first). Live, laugh, balegdah.
