Let’s circle back to this idea that the sole purpose of sex shouldn’t be solely about reaching orgasm. Sure, it’s about pleasure, connection, all that good stuff. But let’s be real, sometimes we’re just in it for the big O. And you know what? That’s totally cool! Especially when you consider how many of us with vulvas struggle to climax during partnered play.
Back in 2005, only 39% of women surveyed reported usually or always hitting the high note during sex, while a whopping 91% of their male counterparts did. Fast forward to 2018, and those numbers bumped up to 65% of women and 95% of men. (Now, I know vulvas aren’t exclusive to women — people of all genders own them.) Regardless of the terminology, the bottom line remains the same. Despite some progress in closing the orgasm gap over the years, it’s still a major frustration.
Sure, I could shout “the clit” until I’m blue in the face, but let’s face it: “orgasm anxiety” is a thing. It can take extra effort and time for vulva owners to reach the peak, even with clitoral stimulation. And sometimes, that journey feels awkward, uncomfortable, and downright anxiety-inducing — enough to make you consider faking it or just calling it quits. But hey, it’s 2024, and I’m not about to let you lovely vulva owners resort to faking it in bed just to spare your partner’s feelings.
So, without further ado, here’s the lowdown on the best sex positions to help vulva owners orgasm. Whether it’s all about that G-spot action, clitoral stimulation, or a bit of both, we’re getting you there!
Skewer
A key to orgasming is to be relaxed and comfortable, and the “skewer” allows you to do just that. Lay on your back on a bed or a chair, but make sure you keep your legs somewhat pressed together. Then, have your partner kneel or stand in front of you so that your genitals are lined up. This position, paired with your legs tight together, helps hit your g-spot and create the sort of deep penetration you need to get there.
Titanic
Great movie and an even better sex position. For this position, your partner should lie on their back with their knees bent. You want to make sure you sit on top of them so that you’re facing their knees and your stomach and groin are pressed against their thighs. This creates a super satisfying friction between their legs and your clit so that you can orgasm during vaginal sex.
Lotus
The lotus is a super intimate sex position that also allows for enough friction and penetration to help you orgasm. Have your partner sit on either the bed or a couch with their legs crossed. Then, you want to sit on top facing them with your legs crossed around them. If you keep going at it in this position, you’re sure to explode.
Missionary (With a Pillow)
I know missionary seems to be on every sex position list, but that’s only because it’s a tried-and-true position. And with some alterations, it can be the best sex position to help vulva owners orgasm. The only thing you need to change is to place a pillow under your hips. This makes it easier for your partner to go deeper and hit the spots to take you over the edge.
Prone Bone
Lay on your stomach with your legs pressed together, and have your partner sit on their knees behind you and enter this way. If you want to create extra clitoral stimulation, place your hands right underneath your clit so that they rub up against each other while you’re being penetrated.
Pinner Position (Collapsed Doggy)
This position is super similar to the prone bone and pretty much the same thing as a collapsed doggy. (I don’t come up with the names, I just write about them.) Instead of having your partner on their knees behind you, make sure they lay directly on top of you while you’re lying on your stomach. The added weight on top of you can create more friction between the bed and your clit, helping you finish.
Riding
Okay, so this isn’t super revolutionary. But riding can almost always be a surefire way to make yourself cum. (If you’re willing to put in the work!) Because you’re on top, you get to control how fast you go, how slow, and the way you want to rub up against your partner. By taking the time to continue in motions that feel good, you can ride your partner all the way to a great orgasm.
