It’s official. It’s 2024 and the bow trend is still going strong. Before you run off and get a tattoo like Hailey Bieber, remember that the millennial mustache walked so the Gen Z bow could run. In other words, in 10 years, the trend is probably going to be cringe as fuck. But who cares! The ice caps are melting! Live in the now!
I admit, I’m loving this bow moment. I want to incorporate more ribbon in my life. Sue me!! But not all of us ribbon-lovers are created equal. Some people like the idea of being a Bow Girl, while very much knowing in their soul that they are not. I respect such people. For example, when I asked my coworker if she is pro-bow, she said, “If I ever wore a bow, everyone in my life would send me to a hospital.” Knowing thyself is a useful skill.
If you are unsure what category you fall into and care very much about other people’s opinion, then by all means take this very official quiz. Unfortunately, this is not 2015 BuzzFeed so I can’t offer you the technology of button clicking. You will be forced to do girl math. But you’ll be rewarded with an accurate aesthetic reading, which should protect you from cyberbullying. (No promises though. Bow forth at your own risk.)
- Are you, or have you ever been, a horse girl?
- Yes
- No
- I’m horse-girl adjacent
- Have you watched Pride & Prejudice (2005) more than 10 times?
- Of course, Keira Knightley haunts my dreams
- I’m more of a BBC girlie
- “I thought the book was better”
- If you had to choose a fashion icon, who would it be?
- Lucius Malfoy (all black, platinum blonde, looks great in silver)
- Historical American Girl Doll Samantha
- Jo in Little Women (lots of layers for attic writing)
- Your go-to emojis are the following:
- 🥰🫶🥂
- 💝🫡🍸
- 😭🙌🚀
- What is your go-to sweet treat?
- An entire chocolate bar
- The tears of your enemy
- Vanilla chocolate swirl in a cone
- The perfect Saturday morning looks like:
- Skincare routine, followed by iced coffee and errands
- Spend $8 on a latte at that cute French patisserie that overcharges for croissants
- Stay in bed till noon with your phone for company
- What’s your favorite sex position? (Yes, I’m serious)
- Missionary all day every day! (Aka you love lying on your back)
- Doggy style because kissing is too intimate
- Reverse cowgirl because you’re not like other girls
- If you were to take an all-expense paid vacation, where would you go?
- Paris, duh
- London because I only speak English
- Las Vegas lol
- If you could time travel back to high school (I know, I know! Bear with me), how would you reinvent yourself?
- Head cheerleader or die trying
- The quietly smart and beautiful girl who is picked from the masses to star in the high school musical
- Running the school paper like it’s TMZ
- If you were to make a bad drunken decision at 3 a.m. on a Thursday night, what would it most likely be?
- A lower back tattoo of two mermaids kissing
- Call your ex and pretend to be the hospital calling to say you were in a horrible accident
- Hook-up with a stranger whose name is probably Dragon
If you mostly answered C
Sorry, you’re just not a Bow Girl. I mean, sure, you might be able to appreciate the soft satin, but who are you kidding? If your friends saw you in a bow they’d be concerned for your mental health. Stop trying to branch out and try new things. Put your hair up in a messy bun and accept your fate.
If you mostly answered B
Honestly, you could go either way. The potential for being a Bow Girl is there if you just reach out and take it. What’s stopping you? Probably your fear of commitment. Bring that to your next therapy session, bitch!
If you mostly answered A
Wow, what is like knowing you are literally a walking trend? Go Bow Girl, you go, girl! This shouldn’t come as a surprise because you were probably stopped for an impromptu street style photo sesh. But remember, with great accessories, comes with great responsibility so go forth and overshare in your Instagram caption you sexy, little try-hard.
