5 Things You Should Not Force Your Bridesmaids To Do

Getting married? Con-freaking-grats to you and everyone else who followed the cliche of getting down on one knee during the holidays.

A huge part of getting married is coordinating things like bridal showers and hideous dresses with your slaves—I mean, bridesmaids. And although by accepting the invitation they’ve basically agreed to kiss the ground you walk on for the next few months, it also doesn’t mean you have to make their lives completely miserable.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of this whole love thing. I mean, I *cried* during The Bachelor this week. And I’m sure your best betches are thrilled about using their emergency funds to pay for your extravagant Bachelorette party that you’ve been planning since you were seven. As a many-time bridesmaid (never a bride…*sigh and simultaneously hint to my boyfriend*), there are a few things you should always steer clear of with your bridesmaids. And as much as I want you to use this opportunity to get back at your sorority sister who made out with your crush during college by forcing her to wear the most unflattering dress, this is NOT the time. Take the high road, amiright?! Steer clear of these things that you should not force your bridesmaids to do and you won’t have your best friends talking sh*t about you at your bachelorette party. Sounds easy enough.

Here are 5 things you should not force your bridesmaids to do.

Spend Tons Of Money They Don’t Have

So, look—every friend group is in a different financial situation. I for one put all of my money towards rent in a little place I live in called San Francisco. I absolutely want you to have the wedding of your dreams, and if that means bougie-ass things, let’s get you some bougie things. But be mindful of your bridesmaids’ financial situations. I’ve heard horror stories of girls kicking people out of their wedding party, SIMPLY because they said they couldn’t afford tons of events.

My advice? If someone comes to you and lets you know they can’t afford all of the events, let them off the hook. The most important thing is that they are celebrating your big day with you, and the rest of the stuff is just icing on the cake.

Plan Your Actual Wedding

I’m sorry if your fiancé isn’t into this whole wedding planning thing. I mean, what guy is? But don’t make your bridesmaids plan your ENTIRE wedding with you. A few details here and there are great, but they did not get proposed to—so don’t force them to act like they were.

Now there are some chicks that love arts and crafts and get a high from weddings and love and everything in between. If you are one of those ladies, fab. I am not. I do not want to help you with your registry to give you five more pots and pans you don’t need.

Wear A Dress That Doesn’t Fit Their Body Type

The last thing you want is a bunch of emotionally unstable and stressed out bridesmaids—OVER THEIR LOOKS. If your bridesmaids have different body types (which like, they probably do unless you’re in Taylor Swift’s now-defunct girl squad) embrace it. Don’t force everyone to wear the same thing if it’s going to cause strife and insecurity. Maybe even do your girls a solid and ask what they would be most comfortable in. I promise at the right angle, your pictures will look amazing no matter what.

Miss A Ton of Work

One of the hardest parts about being in a wedding is the assumed time off work to attend wedding events. Especially if you are traveling across the country to be with your beloved bride-to-be, having a bachelorette party go beyond a weekend is stressful! I mean, not only can I not drink for that many days in a row anymore, but I also don’t have so many days off of the work week.

When you are planning your wedding events, be mindful of the others attending! This is completely your day, but if you can keep events to most weekends (maybe a Friday or two)—your crew will be forever grateful.

Go To The Wedding Alone

I feel like so many bridesmaids are childhood friends, sorority sisters, or people who don’t live in your current city—because they’ve been in your life a long time! This also means your bridesmaids might not know a ton of people at your wedding, especially if you’ve lived in different cities. I’ve heard so many stories of people not giving out plus ones to their weddings (which I GET), but if someone is taking the time out of their life to attend allllll of your pre-wedding activities (and they don’t know tons of other people at the wedding), do not make them go to your shindig totally alone! ALLOW THEM to invite a plus one. Even if your wedding is small AF, know that this person is spending tons of time and effort (and likely money) towards you—so you can do the same with them! I’ve personally never had to attend a wedding where I didn’t know anyone but if I did, I imagine I’d pull a full-on Kristen Wiig and reenact the plane scene from Bridesmaids.