20 Quarantine Tweets That Will Make You Laugh Instead Of Crying

How are you surviving your quarantine? Drinking every time you feel an overwhelming feeling of existential dread (every passing moment)? Checking the fridge every 15 seconds to make sure you’re still aware of what’s in there (nothing, you ate all your quarantine snacks already)? Going live on Instagram like literally no one asked you to (please don’t)?

However you’re choosing to pass the time, I sincerely hope you have found a way to not go completely insane yet. Personally, I have been using this new abundance of free time to work on creative projects and deep clean my apartment scroll through Twitter, much like when I used to use company time to scroll through Twitter. Nice to change things up.

Lucky for me, Twitter is straight-up poppin’ right now. Social distancing and self quarantining has given content creators the opportunity to thrive with their front-facing videos, hot takes, and Twitter jokes. We love to see it.

In case you’ve missed out on this premium content, have no fear, I have curated a list of some of the best tweets that have gone viral in the good way during these trying times. You’re welcome!

1. Time Has Collapsed On Itself (@BrotiGupta)

And March is still not over.

2. Literally what is a 401(k)? (@calebsaysthings)

Ahh, yes, times are so terrible I may have to downsize my butler staff. Woe is me!

3. Stay the fuck home. (@AliseNavidad)

If you were this girl, you should be ashamed.

4. Capitalism strikes again. (@MikiZarzycki)

And they all said my fake job would be worth nothing…

5. Some things remain the same. (@5foot1girl)

At least nothing has changed.

6. Oh hi, Aunt Carol. (@megstalter)

Where have you been?!

7. Grocery store workers need a raise yesterday. (@blairsocci)

They are doing the Lord’s work.

8. We are taking any friends we can get. (@alyssalimp)

Think Kendra can join in a FaceTime next week?

9. Brb, sending this to my therapist. (@LukeMones)

Shouts-out to all the therapists who are going to be having the same conversation, day in and day out, for months.

10. FOMO is dead. (@ilazer)

The one silver lining of this whole pandemic.

11. Third breakfast is in T-minus 15 minutes. (@stellaboonshoft)

Aren’t we all, though?

12. #KeepIdrisSafe (@marcellacomedy)

…But if he needs someone to suck the corona out of his d*ck, I might be available.

13. If you know, you know. (@Rachel_Sennott)

Still waiting for any kind of apology or acknowledgment.

14. I’ll wait. (@nnschiller)


15. Hindsight is 2020. (@handsdickie)

The marketing glow-up nobody saw coming.

16. Can we all agree sweatpants are the official uniform of quarantine? (@sarafcarter)

We get it, we get it: you want to make sure your pants fit. You’re better than us.

17. Deep sigh. (@pareene)

Have we learned nothing?

18. I am begging you. (@Rachel_Sennott)

The quarantine 15 is the new freshman 15.

19. Finally, a use for my one talent. (@ziwe)

Been training to stay inside and not talk to anyone my whole life.

20. @betchesluvthis gets it 😉

At least we have one thing to look forward to.

Images: Mike Coppola/Getty Images

Irene Merrow
Irene Merrow
Irene makes jokes, understands politics, and has legit perfect eyebrows, all in a day’s work. Dumb bitch women really can have it all! This bio took her three days and five nightmares to write.