All right, everyone. It’s finally happened: the moment we’ve been waiting for for months. Khloé Kardashian confirmed her pregnancy in an Instagram post, so we can all finally sleep at night. Years from now, we will all recall this day and remember exactly where we were and what we were doing when this important historical moment occurred. Like, for instance, I will remember that I was getting my makeup done for the first inaugural Betches Meme Gala, and I will recall not-very-fondly how annoyed I am was that she couldn’t have picked a more convenient moment, like, I don’t know, any time during the traditional workday? She did it with the rumors, and now she’s doing it again with the official announcement. I get that it’s only like, 3pm in LA right now, but can’t Khloé think of anyone other than herself, i.e., the people in New York writing the news? Anyway, here’s the Instagram.
I’m honestly very happy for Khloé and Tristan, and I’m sure their baby is going to be beautiful, but I still feel like this photo was just irresponsible. Like, the Calvin Klein cotton bralette is ALREADY the basic bitch uniform, and now Khloé has gone and made it an iconic piece of history. We’ll never see the end of this undergarment. Not to mention, this photo is going to spawn knock-offs from everyone from late-night comedians to random girls from your high school, and I for one don’t want to have to see Amber from freshman year geometry attempt to recreate this photo with the same bra and some very bad acrylics when she announces the inception of her devil spawn. This picture is just a little too accessible to the masses, you know?
All jokes aside, I’m really happy for Khloé and Tristan. Reading that caption, I can just feel the joy leaping off my computer screen (genuine feelings; not sarcasm). I just want to know two things: Is it a girl or a boy? And Kylie, what’s good?
