If there’s one thing married couples love, it’s hearing about the shit that goes down between other married couples and thinking: “Glad that’s not us!” Take, for example, a recent viral story about a husband refusing to cancel his guys’ trip to help his wife move into their new home. I know — glad it’s not you, right?
A little backstory: A Reddit user named “JamintheKY1002” (ugh) recently posted to the r/AmItheAsshole subreddit about a marital dispute he was having with his wife. From the username alone, I wanna say, yeah, sir, you’re the problem. But first, I’ll present the case. The TL;DR of it is that a guy goes on a yearly “board gaming” trip with his buddies. This year, however, the (already planned + paid for) trip takes place during the close date of his new house, and the dude doesn’t want to skip out on playing Settlers of Catan. Before we judge (or judge harder, I guess), here are a few other keynotes to consider in the case of AITA:
- The trip lasts from Wednesday to Sunday.
- They close on their home that Friday.
- The trip was planned and paid for before the couple decided to build a new home.
- This is not their first home purchase.
- Their kids are staying with friends/family, so they don’t have to deal with screaming offspring during the transition.
- They currently live with their in-laws and want to move into the new home ASAP.
- A moving company has been hired.
- Arrangements have been made for hanging TVs, mirrors, curtains, etc., and setting up the internet.
- The close date can’t be pushed.
In order to rectify the situation, the guy proposed driving home (an hour away) for closing and then turning right back around to party over ore trades and sheep ports. His wife is, understandably, “very angry” with him since he won’t be present for the actual move-in. Naturally, the internet returned with responses ranging from “Why get married if you’re just gonna act single?” to “Commitments with friends should be honored.”
Who’s right, and who’s sleeping on the couch? Let’s discuss!
In an ideal world, this wouldn’t have even been an issue. The guy should have been like, “Oh, that’s when my wife and I are buying a new house, so sorry, guys — I’m out.” He wouldn’t have even made it a thing with his wife, and they’d head to their new house together on Friday with a bottle of Champagne and the promise of cunnilingus on the kitchen counter.
Since we don’t live in horny Netflix series, though, the reality is that married people have individual lives and interests that — unfortunately — sometimes clash. And, tbh, once kids come along, you see it even more. He wants to go out for drinks and you don’t want to be stuck doing dinner-bath-bedtime alone. You want to get your nails done, and he sucks at soothing the baby if they wake up mid-nap. It’s like a never-ending game of give-and-take, except no one actually wins, and you’re constantly keeping tabs on how much extra weight you’re pulling.
The issue, of course, isn’t about the fact that the husband isn’t going to help oversee the move and mitigate any issues (because, yes, there are always issues during move-in). It’s simply about not showing up. Moving is a monumental task, and doing it alone feels like a betrayal, especially when your other half is off playing fucking Battleship.
Yes, it’s important to do your own thing sometimes, if only for the sake of self-preservation. I mean, honestly, the only thing better than spending quality time with your family is spending quality time away from your family. But when your own thing overlaps with family responsibilities, both parties must fully agree on a solution.
The spoiler here is that — surprise! — that is exactly what happened. After reading the influx of responses telling the guy he was a complete boner, the wife told him she was keeping the house for herself and he should just move in with his nerdy friends.
Jk! But can you imagine? In reality, an even bigger plot twist happened in which the guy got down from his high horse after reading the Reddit thread, talked things over with his wife, and came up with a solution together.
“I will come home on Friday to assist with the move and organizing following our closing,” JamintheKY1002 wrote in an update. “I will be present for anything and everything needed during the move. Then, after everything is moved in, she is fine with me going back to my trip unless there are other things that need to be done or we don’t get finished that day. In which case, I will cancel the remainder of my trip so I can be present to help with anything unforeseen that might pop up.”
It’s almost as if having an adult conversation led to a fair compromise. We love to see it! Honestly, I think the biggest lesson here is that if your husband thinks he’s right and you know he’s being an asshole, tell him to post it on Reddit because he will get his ass handed to him. Oh, and like, family comes first, etc. Unless, of course, I have a girls’ trip planned to Napa during my next closing date, in which case I will absolutely not be canceling to unpack boxes, so everyone just be cool, okay?
