This Is The Most Alarming Wedding Trend We've Seen Yet

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s engagement season. You’re actually not just imagining it; the flood of “I said yes!” photos on your newsfeed really has increased. Most people get engaged between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day, which is probably due to the fact that guys like to propose on holidays because they a) can’t think of a better gift idea and b) are too stupid to remember important dates. This basically means that newly engaged people are flocking to Pinterest and Instagram to start looking for ridiculous ways to outdo everyone else’s wedding. Anyway, one of the most recent wedding trends is worse than all of the chalkboard paint Mason jars in the world put together. People are literally having wild animals at their weddings. On purpose.

As if having every relevant person in your life in the same room at the same time doesn’t feel like enough of a potential disaster for you, the wedding industry is like “hey, don’t you want to add wild animals to the mix?” And like, these aren’t cute puppies or animals that have a reputation of being snuggly or well-behaved. It’s literally the spitters of the animal kingdom, like alpacas and giraffes.

I guess having a llama or whatever at your wedding is kind of funny, in a Napoleon Dynamite way. If you’re into that. (But I should remind you that movie came out 14 years ago.) I just feel like personally, I wouldn’t want to run the risk of associating the most strategically planned day of my life with the smell and excrement of farm animals.

Apparently, this isn’t even really a new trend. Wedding llamas have been available for rent for awhile, because every day we stray further from God’s light. However, there have been way more hooves in the wedding section of Pinterest recently, to the point where it’s alarming.

So, yeah. This is a thing, and it needs to stop. Can’t everyone just go back to Snapchat geofilters? Flower crowns? I don’t care what you do at this point, as long as there is zero chance of me accidentally stepping in a pile of shit at your wedding. Besides, everyone knows all you need for a decent wedding is an open bar.

Images: The Knot, New Jersey Bride, WeddingLlamas / Instagram

Hannah Chambers
Hannah Chambers
Hannah Chambers is one of those people whose entire personality consists of Real Housewives references, taking pictures of her dog, and drinking out of an obnoxiously large water bottle. You can find her work in Cosmopolitan, Bustle,, and more. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @hanchambers