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What Is Soft Swinging? And What Does It Have To Do With Mormon MomTok

If you’ve been anywhere near Mormon MomTok, you probably know the tea is piping hot, thanks to Taylor Frankie Paul — mom of three and TikToker who single-handedly blew up her friend group in 2022 by going live with a big ol’ scandal: the mommy gang were hooking up with each other. In other words, a little something called “soft swinging.” But what even is that, and why is the internet obsessed with this mess? With Taylor and the rest of MomTok getting a reality TV show on Hulu (“The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives”), let me give you a little context on the ground rules and rough dynamic of soft swinging. 

What Even Is Soft Swinging?

You’ve heard of swinging — when couples swap partners to enjoy sexually. But WTF is soft swinging? Soft swinging sounds like a chill sport, but no — this isn’t about playing doubles tennis. Soft swinging is when couples swap partners, but there’s a catch: they don’t go “all the way” unless everyone’s in the room. Think of it as dipping your toes into the pool of polyamory, but with strict rules on how far you’re allowed to swim.

It was all fun and games for Taylor and her group of mom-fluencers, until one night, Taylor and one of the husbands from the swinging squad decided to break the rules and take things further without the rest of the group’s consent. Spoiler: that one-time hookup led to Taylor catching feelings, which is basically a reality TV storyline just waiting to happen (hint, hint). Cue: divorces, accusations, and everyone distancing themselves from the fallout.

The Mormon MomTok Drama

@taylorfrankiepaul Replying to @douggrahmann I will not be sharing this one @Dakota Mortensen ♬ original sound – 🤞


So, Taylor decided to spill the beans on TikTok about the soft swinging sitch, and well, it blew up. In one of her livestreams, she shared that she and her ex-husband, Tate, had been part of this swinging friend group, but when she went against the group’s boundaries, the whole situation fell apart. Taylor not only faced the collapse of her marriage — she dealt with a massive rift between her and her fellow Mormon moms. The divorce wasn’t solely about the swinging incident, though, as Taylor herself said it was just the “tip of the iceberg.”

What followed next was a parade of denials from the rest of MomTok. Influencers like Miranda McWhorter, Camille Munday, and other MomTok favorites scrambled to assure their followers that they weren’t involved in the drama. To make things even messier, Taylor hinted that three of the couples in their friend group are getting divorced, though only two of those splits were related to the swinging situation. It’s giving Real Housewives energy, but with a whole lot more passive-aggressive TikToks.

Enter Hulu’s “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives”

Now, if you thought this saga couldn’t get any juicier, Hulu is here to turn it into full-on binge-worthy content. Airing on September 6, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is a new docuseries that dives into the world of Mormon women living double lives, featuring — you guessed it — some of the key players from the MomTok soft swinging scandal. The series promises to explore how these Mormon women navigate their faith, family, and friendships while living in a super-conservative community. And given the sheer chaos of the Taylor Frankie Paul drama, you know it’s going to be an absolute ride.

If you’ve ever found yourself glued to your phone scrolling through MomTok drama, this show is probably going to feel like the ultimate full-circle. I don’t know about you, but I will be sat and ready to watch. 

Syeda Khaula Saad
Syeda Khaula Saad is a sex & dating writer at Betches despite not remembering the last time she was in a relationship. Just take her word for it.