Image Credit: Betches

Wells Adams' Official Guide To Drunk Crying

As the seasoned bartender on Bachelor in Paradise, Wells Adams is the ultimate sober sister at a frat party. Your college spring break has nothing on what he witnesses on the beaches of Sayulita, Mexico (lol ok maybe that’s a stretch, but still). That one week during your sophomore year, likely didn’t end in a ton of marriages… and if they did, I feel like the bartender from Margaritaville probably didn’t officiate the wedding.

Wells recently officiated BIP couple Grocery Store Joe Amabile and Serena Pitt’s wedding; he’s played a major role in the good times and the not-so-good times of Bachelor Nation couples. In handling some of those not-so-good times, he’s earned himself a PHD in The Art and Study of Drunk Crying. Though he describes himself as “a drunk happy guy,” he’s bore witness to some of the most epic drunk tears ever televised, making him a master in the craft and more than suitable to give Betches an Official Guide To Drunk Crying. 


Image Credit: Getty Images

When is it ok to drunk cry? 

I think it’s appropriate to do it when you are with the same sex. If you’re going to drunk cry, and you’re a lady, you should be doing it with your girlfriends. If you’re drunk crying, and you’re a guy, you need to be doing with the boys. No one wants to see drunk crying from the person that they’re considering, about to start dating, or dating for a couple of days in Paradise.

What should you never say while drunk crying? 

It’s the thing that you can’t take back. It’s usually something that’s probably very mean. Usually if you’re making fun of somebody or you’re degrading somebody because it makes you feel better about how they’ve made you feel, usually that’s not great because you can’t probably take that thing back. Probably if you’re drunk, that means you’re going to have an emotional hangover the next day and wish you hadn’t said a lot of things. Usually it’s a thing that you can’t take back.

Advice for chronic drunk criers:

Usually, my advice is, here’s a glass of water, and what I think you should do is you should go be alone. You should go get in bed or something. Get away from everybody. You’re just probably going to make things worse for yourself and for everyone else around you. That usually is the right piece of advice, and usually, people come the next day and be like, I don’t remember this, but thank you for giving me that water and telling me to go to bed.

What cocktail pairs best with tears? 

Well, a margarita because you got that salt rim. While you’re crying, you’re losing a lot of sodium in your body, so you need to replenish that with a good salt ring margarita.

Best drunk cry session of all time?

I probably was a part of the best ones, which is Ashley Iaconetti, season 3, when I was a contestant on the show. She cried a lot. It wasn’t really about me though, it was really more about Jared if I’m being honest, but I was kind of a part of that little love triangle. She was pretty great about it. Then, one of my favorites was this girl named Alexis Waters. She cried because she was really hungry one night, and Derek brought her a pizza, and I think someone dropped the pizza in the sand, and then she couldn’t eat it. She was like, “I just wanted to eat some pizza.” To this day, I think it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on TV.

Steph Perlman
Steph Perlman
Steph Perlman is Betches' Entertainment Editor. She's a Kardashian historian, Real Housewives enthusiast, and Pete Davidson apologist.