Mars Is In Retrograde: Here Are Your Weekly Horoscopes For June 25-29

Mars enters Retrograde this week and it’s like, almost as bad as Mercury in Retrograde for some. Mars is fiery, passionate, horny, driven, and emotional. Basically, Mars is Olivia Pope when she’s yelling at the President for being a dumbass. You might feel like you’re under a lot of pressure this week, but it’s nothing a lot (and I mean a lot) of alcohol cant fix. Here are your weekly horoscopes for June 25-29:


Romantic Venus teams up with indulgent Jupiter this week to bring out all your worst habits when it comes to romance. Do your best to keep yourself in check, but don’t be surprised if you drunk dial, text an ex, hook up with a fuckboy, or fight with your boyfriend for no reason. Basically, it’s like Russian roulette of you misbehaving with matters of the heart.


The power Mars has over you is intense, since the retrograde is happening at the top of your chart. This makes you hot and cold to your power and desires. One minute, you’ll be super confident, killing the game. The next, you could be second-guessing every choice you’ve ever made. Make a decision and stick with it. Anyone who questions your authority, including yourself, can fuck right off.


You’re tempted to commit to more than you can handle this week. Sure, signing up for a bunch of workout classes, volunteer shit, and social activities sounds really good at the moment. Keep in mind that your favorite thing to do is watch Queer Eye on your couch before you go and over-extend yourself and your willpower.


The power of Scorpio in your sign will add an air of mystery to your life this week. Be cautious of overposting and geotagging. It’s best if some people are left in the dark about your whereabouts. If you happen to end up in the bed of the guy you met on Hinge last week for the fourth night in a row, that’s nobody’s business but your own. And his.


With Mars opposite your sign, you’re bound to have some arguments with friends, lovers, roommates, and family members. I’m sorry, betch. That’s just the way it is. You can be grumpy, bitchy, and generally intolerable, or you can internalize some Southern charm and learn to say, “Bless your heart” instead of “Fuck you” to the people who cross you. Your pick.


The Jupiter-Venus face-off in your house of communication has you walking the fine line between connecting and oversharing with others. Your desire to spill the tea comes from you wanting to gain favor with someone. Be cautious about what you say. You could end up looking like a gossip and a try-hard if you don’t use your best judgment when running your mouth.


You might feel a little bit of continued tension with your bank account this week. Mars makes you kind of antsy about your finances, while Venus in your social sector continues to make you popular. You’ll want to socialize to relax, but the cost of going out will stress you out even more. It’s basically, like, the worst kind of Catch-22.


The Moon in your sign at the start of the week will make you more moody than usual. I mean, you’re a Scorpio so you’re generally a little unpredictable, but this week you’ll kick it up a notch with the mood swings. Prepare your loved ones. Apologize in advance for the things you say when you are hungry, tired, or horny.


This week, your inner dreamer comes out. Jupiter makes you optimistic while Mars motivates you to work hard towards your goals. While Mars is making a lot of the other signs moody af, it goes relatively easy on you. You might miss out on some summer fun while you’re putting in the work, but you can make up for that in the future when you’re rich af and can afford to throw way better parties.


The week is a little confusing for you when it comes to friendships. The Moon in Scorpio draws you to connect on a deep ride-or-die level with someone. But the Venus-Jupiter combo in your friendship zone could make your expectations over-the-top. The best thing to do is just be realistic about where you stand with people. Not everyone needs to be your best friend, k?


This summer is off to a good start with fiery Mars in your sign. Mars will boost your energy and confidence. Just be forewarned: while Mars is in retrograde, it can do you dirty. You might throw yourself into the deep end just to realize you’re in over your head when Mars changes signs again. Enjoy that energy and confidence, but don’t let things get too out of hand.


Mars’ retrograde takes place in a hidden part of your chart. This means what’s going on in reality will be at odds with your subconscious. You might be at a party surrounded by friends and all of a sudden feel lonely. You might be winning awards and earning professional accolades and still feel like you’re failing. Yeah, that’s heavy shit. Deep breaths, exercise, close friends, and booze will always get you through. This too shall pass and all that good shit, ya know?

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