You Can't Spell 'Fired Up' Without FU: Your Weekly Horoscopes March 12-16th

This week, it’s all about harnessing the power of Mars to your advantage. As the God of War, Mars can be aggressive AF. It’s time to go after what you want—the guy, the job, the raise, the award—whatever it is, there’s not much that can stand in your way. I mean, unless there’s a 2-for-1 happy hour special somewhere, then you’ll just have to get down to business after that second (or fourth) margarita. Read on for what this week has in store for you in your weekly horoscope March 12 – 16th.


Mars is your ruler, and that motherfucker is at the top of your chart. That means great things for you, betch. Literally nothing will get between you and what you really want. Just be mindful that after you’re done kicking ass and forgetting names this week, you’ll probably have to apologize to others for steamrolling over basically everything they suggested all week long.


As Mars shifts this week, your feelings about something you believe in will strengthen. That’s fine if you’re just echoing a wildly held belief, like that Arie shouldn’t have broken up with Becca K on camera #neverforget. Temper your more controversial opinions with some tact. With practically everyone ready to battle over their opinions this week, you might ruffle some feathers with your activism.


You have negative feelings for another person, and they need to be resolved. You don’t want that bad energy, so it’s best to just clear the air now. Send that Venmo request for the Uber your friends didn’t offer to pay for. Remind your roommate she owes you for ruining your cashmere sweater. It might be petty, but you need that comeuppance to forgive and forget.


As a Cancer, you crave security. This week, it’s time to focus on your emotional stability in your relationships. If a dude keeps texting you but never makes plans to hang out, you best leave him on read. If a friend puts you down so that she feels better about her sausage fingers and stringy hair, it’s time to cut your losses there too.


Don’t get thrown off by a change of plans this week. As a Leo, you usually like things to go right, and by “right” I mean “your way”. Getting shit done this week will entail some rearranging or postponing something you wanted to do to make room for something you have to do. Ugh, being an adult is the absolute worst. Luckily, the Moon transitioning into Aquarius means someone close to you will provide the support you need to stay on track.


For some, Mars makes them want to fight. For the Virgo, fiery Mars just makes you want to play. Your horoscope March 12 will have you focus on living your best, most fun life. Oh, you should also be aware that Mars makes you, like, pretty horny. Tell your S.O. to be prepared because this week will be anything but boring in the bedroom.


With forceful Mars in your communication zone, what comes out of your mouth this week might be a surprise to everyone. Talk about word vomit. Maybe think twice before blurting out an extremely personal story about what happened to you over the weekend to a coworker. Like, it might be hilarious, but no one wants to start the week dealing with an HR complaint.


You’ll start the week on a fact-finding mission. That’s totally right up your alley as the sleuth of the zodiac. Tell your best friend not to worry. You’ll get to the bottom of why her boyfriend was acting shady over the weekend before the week is out. Likewise, with a lot of the other signs just laying it all out there this week, most of the information you seek will probably just fall into your lap.


It’s not a great week for you to make a major financial decision. The Moon in your money zone will collide with Uranus, and that can trigger a financial glitch. Prepare for small shit like forgetting to pay a bill on time or slightly over-drafting your account. Oops. Luckily, you can avoid all that by being more mindful this week. But hey, shit happens. Let your go-with-the-flow Sagittarius energy wash over you if things go just so slightly awry.


Something is holding you back. This week, it’s about damn time you break free. Mars entering your sign and staying there for the next two months will give you the willpower to cut any ties that aren’t benefitting you to the max. Your energy will be high, which is just what you need to overcome some self-imposed limitations. Saturn is your ruler and loves tradition, so it won’t be easy to change your game, but it will be totally worth it.


You might feel a little unsettled this week due to the shifting position of Mars. Like, don’t freak the fuck out if you’re questioning where you are in life or some of the decisions you made. That being said, things will work out on their own later so don’t do anything drastic like dump the love of your life or quit your job or, worse, cut your own bangs. The horror!


You’re compassionate and trusting by nature, but that doesn’t mean you’re naive. With Mars activating the take-charge nature of many of the other signs, don’t be surprised if someone tries to persuade you into something you just don’t agree with. Be very picky with who you choose to give your time, attention and money to.


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