Are we all just collectively screaming into the void at the point? Are we experiencing cautious enthusiasm? How many hours of election coverage do you have to watch before you don’t feel feelings anymore? The good news is that, one way or the other, it’ll all be over soon. On top of that, looks like everyone is in for a very chill weekend, thanks to the planets reading the f*cking room and not piling more sh*t on top of us. Grool!
Scorpio
The moon is going to heavily f*ck with your emotions on Friday, Scorpio, so know that along with your election and COVID anxiety, you’ll have some regular anxiety, too. Saturday you’ll be craving emotional stability, snuggles, and love, so don’t be surprised if you find yourself smoothing over any arguments or tiffs in the interest of everyone getting along.
Sagittarius
Lean in to adventure this weekend, Sagittarius. Honestly, with the amount of stress we all just lived through, it’s a great time to go tf outside and ditch your phone for as long as possible. Bonus points if you try a new activity/sport/challenging hike you’ve never done before. Sunday you may feel some internal tension between wanting to stick to your budget and blowing your whole paycheck on something from Tiffany’s because, dammit, you deserve it. Just try to find a middle ground.
Capricorn
It’s the battle of your needs vs. everyone else’s, Capricorn. This weekend, you’ll find yourself pulled every which way emotionally, so try to center yourself, breathe, and balance. You’ll find on Saturday that communicating is f*cking difficult, so try to explain to your S.O., family, and friends that talking/texting is difficult atm, and you need some space so you don’t say things you don’t actually mean.
Aquarius
Tackle your f*cking problems, Aquarius. On Friday, you’ll have some bright ideas about how to better attack your work projects AND get your boss to appreciate you. That’ll be cause for heading out for a socially distanced and responsible beer with a friend or two afterwards. Saturday and Sunday you may feel some emotional tug-of-war between your wants and your partner’s, so try to meet in the middle. Like, if he wants pizza and you want nachos, compromise and get nachos.
Pisces
You’re feeling super creative this weekend, Pisces, so make a plan to redecorate your apartment, paint a random room, or rearrange your mom’s furniture just to piss her off. After your HGTV-ness, take some time on Sunday to think about your career. Are you truly happy? Does your resume need updating? Should you take up that old guy that slid into your DMs about being a sugar daddy? Just saying.
Aries
Love is in the air, Aries, so gear up for a date with someone new or spend some time with your S.O. this weekend. Things may get off to a rocky start and tensions may be a little high, thanks to the moon and planets pissing each other off, but rest assured that everything will smooth out by Saturday afternoon. Sunday is all about you, so order in and watch people f*ck up Genoise sponges on The Great British Baking Show again.
Taurus
Write a book, make up a recipe, or just call your mom and yap for a while this weekend, Taurus. I’m sure channeling your nauseous energy re: the election into something communicatory will be easy. Saturday is also prime for romance, so if you’ve been swiping through Tinder lately, it may be a good time to finally make a date. If you’re already in a relationship, try doing an activity that is neither Netflix nor chill with your S.O. this weekend.
Gemini
Relax, Gemini. The moon is heightening your #feelings all weekend, so if Saturday looks like a good opportunity for laying around, taking a bubble bath, and writing in your journal, go for it. Sunday you need to make a plan to get tf outside and enjoy what’s probably the last of the decent weather. Bring a bottle of wine and make your friends enjoy the sun with you.
Cancer
It’s all about your romantic relationship this weekend, Cancer. Friday night you may feel some tension with your S.O., but you’ll probs smooth it over with pizza and wearing that lacy underwear he enjoys. Otherwise, you should probably focus on your budget this weekend—you know, the one you haven’t been adhering to like, at all. Get that sh*t onto an Excel spreadsheet and formulate how to afford traveling again in 2022 and also how to not spend $400 every weekend at Target.
Leo
Pay attention to your dreams on Friday night, Leo, since they may actually mean something this time around. Saturday and Sunday you’ll be feeling especially nice—i.e., your election/COVID/seasonal depression and anxiety will take a hiatus for the day—so call up some friends and do something fun. Bonus points if it involves toasting one to several mimosas to our new president.
Virgo
Time to turn inward and snuggle the weekend away, Virgo. Friday after work you may be craving some fam and friend time, so head out for dinner or plan a long phone call with a friend. The rest of the weekend is for tidying your f*cking apartment, reading, and being away from other human beings, since this week was so emotionally exhausting.
Libra
Friday may be rough, Libra, but the weekend won’t be. Just accept that the last day of this week will be about as painful as the rest of it has been. Then go to bed and sleep it off. Saturday and Sunday you’ll be in better spirits and in the mood to mingle with your favs, so pick a brewery or a nature trail to spend some socially distanced time together.
Images: Giphy (12)
