Time To Procrastinate: Weekend Horoscopes For September 28-30

Okay. We’re like a week into fall and officially annoyed with the temperature and mood swings fall brings. If I wear a sweater, am I going to be roasting my tits off by 2pm? Do I order my coffee hot or iced? Is it too early to put up Halloween decorations? Your horoscope can’t give you the answers to these questions, but it might give you some insight as to if you should go home with that guy you just met at the tailgate or if you need to avoid Twitter so you don’t ugly cry over the news all weekend long. Here are your weekend horoscopes for September 28-30.


There’s power in numbers for you this weekend. Socializing will give you energy and boost your spirits. Your competitive side will thrive and you’ll keep a smile on your face as long as you keep winning. Aries are not known for taking a L with ease. Be careful about who you pick to be on your flip cup team. Feel free to send the team hottie walking if he can’t keep up with the rest of the group. Like, Brian, were you seriously born with zero hand-eye coordination? Get it together.


The Moon is in your sign this weekend, meaning you’ll attract and appreciate the simple pleasures in life: the smell of apple-scented candles, the taste of a PSL  wearing a cozy pair of socks, having a dude text you back quickly, but, like not too quickly, etc. With the Moon linked to Pluto, you’re also inspired to make things happen. This is your opportunity to turn that perfectly timed texting conversation into an actual date or meet-up.


The Moon linked with Pluto brings out your resourcefulness this weekend. Out of the ingredients for a decent cocktail? You’ll be able to whip something up with whatever is left in your fridge from your last party. Cold at the bar? You’ll use your ingenuity to snuggle up to a guy who has a jacket he can conveniently offer you. Basically, this is your weekend to charm people out of their money and possessions to make your life better and easier.


According to your weekend horoscope, you’re keenly aware of what your needs are right now. You’ll be able to ask for what you want and how you want it. I mean, this can apply to all things, but it’s especially helpful in the bedroom. If you need a little more of this or a little less of that, it should be your prerogative this weekend to vocalize your wants, needs, and desires. Like, the dude’s going to get off no matter what; it should be the goal to get you there too, right?


This is a great weekend for you to achieve a goal. If you’re a literal crazy person and signed up for your first 5k, half-marathon, or marathon this weekend, you’ll most likely finish the race. The planets are on your side for this one. For the rest of the Leos, who happen to have smaller, more attainable goals like changing out of leggings once this weekend or going outside at least one time, they’ll be able to get there too. There’s no trophy for showering and then doing your hair and makeup, but, like, maybe there should be.


Luck and hard work combine for you this weekend putting you in the right place at the right time. Things don’t just fall in your lap, though. You’re actually going to have to go, like, 51 percent of the way in order for the planets to get you the other 49. Think of it like this: you could have a ton of great matches and connections but you have to sign up for the dating app first and actually do some swiping.


You might have to get a little more vulnerable than you’d prefer this weekend. If you’re looking to build a strong connection with someone, you’re going to have to remove the dark sunglasses, look someone in the eye, and let your guard down. The Moon joining with Pluto puts you in the mood to purge and heal. Go ahead, get out the good red wine with the girls and have the type of heart-to-heart you haven’t had since freshman year.


You’re going to feel a little frustrated and stuck this weekend. This stems from your inability to solve a problem or help someone in need on your own. It probably doesn’t help that you just watched a full day of Senate hearings and are mentally and emotionally wrecked. Hey, it’s really okay to log out of your social media accounts and live your life if the news is stressing you out too much. You can’t be an effective leader for social and political change if you’re really lacking in the self-care department. Remember that.


As a Sagittarius, you’re usually an excellent multitasker. This is not the weekend to test just how good of a multitasker you can be, though. In fact, it’s best that you give your focus to one activity at a time. Like, don’t try to have a text conversation with your boss while you’re trying to be one half of a cornhole team at the tailgate. You’re either going to have a bunch of weird-ass typos or you’ll lose at cornhole. Remember the F-word: focus.


This weekend’s motto is pace yourself. Whether you’re drinking, spending or banging, doing too much too soon is going to bite you in the ass by Sunday—in one of those cases, it might even be literal. Of course, you should totally imbibe. You just don’t want to be the drunkest girl at the pregame or the poorest friend during the holidays. If you’re having a hard time staying in control, recruit your most boring responsible friend to babysit or some shit.


The Moon causes you problems in your family and home sector this weekend. Thursday, the Moon was colliding with Mars, making you easily agitated with a family member. This weekend, as the Moon joins Pluto, you’ll be able to see the issue is deeper than what it seems. Like, you thought you and your sister were just fighting over something dumb. Nah, betch. Something has probably been stewing in her for years and it’s destined to come out.


You need to rid yourself of distractions to get shit done this weekend. Yes, social media is blowing up with hot takes over the news this week, but you’ll never finish the task at hand if you can’t pull yourself away from Twitter. Find a quiet place where your WiFi is dodgy so you can work. I mean, that’s my advice, but I know you’re just going to procrastinate until the last second. You are a Pisces, after all.


Images: Giphy (6); Unsplash/Candice Picard