I feel like a whole new woman after the Paris Olympics. Who knew so much learning could happen in just a few weeks? I now know what a pommel horse is (Clark “Stephen” Kent’s prop), and I’ve discovered that I may have a future in breakdancing — if I ever pull a Raygun and make it to the Olympics, I will be trying that famous chocolate muffin. The final weekend of the Paris Olympics brought even more memes, more exciting wins, and a bit of sad news. If you weren’t glued to your TV like I was, here are the top five stories from the last weekend of the Olympics.
Australian Breakdancer Raygun Is The Queen Of The Delulu Movement And The Kangaroo
We learned an important lesson from Raygun this weekend: With an infinite amount of delulu, anything is possible. After her Olympics breakdancing performance, Raygun immediately became on online sensation for her unique breakdancing style. Saturday Night Live‘s Chloe Fineman and a lot of people’s pets have attempted to recreate Raygun’s moves themselves, and I shall never skip one of these videos.
The 36-year-old Aussie is completely unbothered by her virality. “I was never going to beat these girls on what they do best — their power moves,” she told ESPN about the other b-girls. “What I bring is creativity.” To be fair, did you see anyone else doing the kangaroo or the sprinkler?? Raygun added, “All of my moves are original. Creativity is really important to me. I go out there, and I show my artistry.” Her mindset is artistry. May we all aspire to have one tenth of the confidence of Raygun.
Jordan Chiles Was Robbed Of Her Bronze Medal
Remember when Jordan won her first-ever individual Olympic medal? Yeah, well, she might’ve un-won it because of some really fucking stupid logistics. Her score was 13.666 (not quite medal-level), but after her coach, Cecile Landi, submitted an inquiry regarding her difficulty score, Jordan’s score was raised to 13.766, which earned her the bronze. Unfortunately, the Romanian team claimed that the injury came four seconds after the deadline, and they filed an appeal. On Sunday, the International Olympic Committee determined that Jordan would need to return her medal.
However, the medal dispute is still ongoing — USA Gymnastics claims to have video evidence of Cecile submitting her inquiry in time. It looks like there’s about to be a very stressful legal battle. Uggghh, Queen Jordan does not deserve this.
Tom Daley Said Goodbye To Diving
We’ve seen our last Tom Daley Olympic dive now, and I’m in denial. During an interview with British Vogue, the British athlete announced that he’s officially retiring. “There was a lot of pressure and expectations,” he told the magazine. “I was eager for it to be done. But when I walked out and saw my husband and kids and my friends and family in the audience, I was like, you know what? This is exactly why I did this. … It was emotional at the end, up there on the platform, knowing it was going to be my last competitive dive.” I need a tissue immediately.
Imane Khelif Said Fuck The Haters And Won A Gold Medal
Countless celebrities, political pundits, and social media trolls have been rooting for Imane to be disqualified after falsely claiming that she is a man or a trans woman. It’s an extremely offensive load of bullshit… Imane can’t help that she’s a beast at boxing. Did we disqualify Michael Phelps because he was superhuman? No, so people can shut the fuck up. The relentless hate didn’t stop Imane from winning the Olympic women’s 66-kilogram boxing title on Friday. Queen shit.
Now, Imane has filed a legal complaint, claiming she was the victim of online abuse. I hope she gets the justice she deserves, and I hope she shows off that gold medal everywhere she goes ❤️.
Billie Eilish Reminded Us She’s “The Greatest”
Naturally, Billie showed up to her Los Angeles Olympics Closing Ceremony show in an oversized white Ralph Lauren polo, ginormous shorts, and a baseball cap. (The LA show was a prelude to the 2028 Summer Olympic Games, which will be held there.) She sang “Birds of a Feather” and “The Greatest” flawlessly, and I continue to be floored by the fact that this seasoned pop icon is 22 years old.
