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The Products To Help You Get & Maintain A Platinum Vagine

Sponsored by Queen V

Having a squeaky clean and healthy vag is like, part of the rules of feminism, and thanks to feminism, we can freely and happily find a ton of products that’ll help keep things so fresh and so clean down there. If you don’t have time this weekend to head to your local Walmart and load up your basket with stuff labeled with “V,” don’t sweat it.

All you need now is the 411 on what products go together. If you’re not sure what products to use and which ones work well together, we have you covered, so read on.

Queen V is solving our problems once again and hooking betches up everywhere with not only online ordering, but also adorable bundles of happiness aimed at making your vagine platinum so you can ride that surfbort.

Surfbort.

Anyway, yes, you can find any and all Queen V products at your local Walmart, but if you whip out your phone now and head to queenvlife.com, you can pick up some amazing bundles SUCH AS:

Let’s Get Started

This is the kit aimed at starting your poontang love journey, and we’re here for it. This pH-balanced starter kit includes a spritzer (honestly, who doesn’t wanna spritz their V?), probiotic, cleansing bar, and body wash — all of which are good for you and created with pronounceable things like aloe, rose water, and chamomile. It’s like a high-end spa treatment for your lady parts!

Best Sellers

Duh. Try out Queen V’s top four best selling products to help keep your vagine sparklin’. This bundle includes an aloe-based spray, a probiotic (which can keep yeast at bay), wipes designed with coconut oil and vitamin E perfect for your puss, and three all-natural bath bombs to help keep things feelin’ fine.

On the Go

Keep your poonaner happy when you’re traveling around the world or like, having an impromptu slumber party with that Tinder bae. This bundle comes with three compact products perfect for freshening up, regardless of where you are. It includes a lube that’s actually not going to give you an infection, the spritzer so you can feel v nice, and the UTMI probiotic.

Head Over Heal

Say BYE FELICIA to itchy infections, cramps, and other not chill things that can happen when you’re the proud owner of a puss. This bundle helps keep things healthy in your pants and includes the Eraser — a homeopathic alternative to the creams and eggs you’ve been stuffing in your snatch to battle yeast infections, the UTMI probiotic, and the Bombshell bath bombs.

Clean V

If clean is what you need, this is the bundle for you. Also, jazz snaps for the play on Queen B, but like, it’s Queen V, and now, like, Clean V … anyone? Whatever. This bundle includes one of my faves — the Make It Reign cleanser (no parabens, fam), the rosewater-infused V Bar, Swipe Right Wipes, and The Eraser.

Fun and Flirty

If, like, you need to be fresh, clean, and flirty for yourself or like, guests, buy this bundle. You know what we mean. Grab this kit so you can try out the P.S. I Lube You aloe-based lube, Pop The Bubbly — an awesome pH-balanced soak to make you feel soft and ladylike, Spray Bay Bay moisturizing spray, and our old friend, Bombshell bath bombs.

So, whatever, order a bunch of bundles from your phone and don’t deal with the potential judgmental eyes of the old lady cashier at Walmart. Although, if you want your beau to pick up a nice Queen V cleansing bar on his way home, that remains a great option for cementing your dominant status over him. By the way, all of these adorbs bundles come in super cute tote bags.

Queen V Tote

OH, and all shipping over $35 is FREE!

Images: Queen V (7); Giphy

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson