I don’t know if you guys heard, but last week, Kendall Jenner’s stalker was arrested by ICE. This revolting man, John Ford, is the guy who allegedly showed up at her pool and on her porch on two separate occasions. I thought Canadians were supposed to be nice, but thankfully that crazy mofo was here illegally, so he’s getting deported. This is surely a huge relief for Kendall and the whole Kardashian clan. According to TMZ, ICE “made it clear” that had this guy stayed in the country, there “could have been a tragedy.” I mean, no sh*t. Why wasn’t he imprisoned after the first couple times he was caught? Kendall’s story isn’t even close to one of the craziest celeb stalker incidents. Inspired by this small bit of justice, I decided to remind you all why you should definitely want to be rich, but avoid being famous at all costs. Just a warning, these are dark af.
1. Jodie Foster
This is a tale that many young women are familiar with, but (hopefully) not on a level like this. In 1981, a gross old man was creepily trying to get a young girl’s attention. This literally happened to me walking my dog yesterday. But given I’m not a “famous”, and I’m also kind of old now, it just meant this weird guy yelled at me a bunch until I crossed the street. Unfortunately for Jodie Foster, her old guy was John Hinckley Jr. He was obsessed with her movie Taxi Driver and began stalking her, showing up at her college, and trying to get her attention. That didn’t work, so he sent love letters. That didn’t work, so he shot the President. Not only is he out of both prison and the psychiatric hospital now, btw, but he was super pissed when Jodie came out as gay, because had he known that, he wouldn’t have bothered. Wow, a stalker and a homophobe! What a guy.
2. John Lennon
The ’80s were a scary time for fandom. In 1980, Mark David Chapman went to get an autograph from John Lennon. That went well, and he was like, okay I totally should just go home now. Oh wait, no. He went back instead and shot and killed Lennon. Turns out, Chapman was a nutcase who thought he was Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye. If you only pretended to read it in high school, Holden’s whole thing is that everyone is phony. Chapman took this to mean that Lennon was phony, and thus he must kill him so that he can become Holden IRL. Literally, he thought he was going to become a whiny, 16-year-old fictional character. That was the goal. Thankfully, he was denied parole in 2016. RIP John Lennon.
3. Sandra Bullock
In 2014, Joshua Corbett, a random superfan, broke into Sandra’s house and was banging on her bedroom door. He told her that he was her husband and she belongs to him. He had sent her a bunch of letters prior to this, bitching that he was waiting for her to come home to him, but she didn’t. Sandra called the police, he was arrested, and then they found 24 guns, explosives, and a notebook describing how he was going to rape her. WTF. Lock. Him. Up.
4. Rebecca Schaeffer
In the ’80s, Rebecca was the star of a TV show called My Sister Sam, and she had a huge fan base. One fan in particular, Robert Bardo, had some mental health issues, and had a shrine in his bedroom dedicated to her. He spent all his time watching VHS tapes of her show and every TV appearance he could find. Then, Rebecca did a love scene on another TV show, which Bardo considered a huge betrayal. So he showed up at her house (finding her address from the DMV, btw) and shot her. Bardo later told police that he killed her because he had “to eliminate [what] I cannot attain”, which may as well be the national motto for toxic masculinity.
5. Selena
As someone who grew up completely obsessed with J.Lo’s movie Selena, I consider this one a personal attack. Yolanda Saldivar was Selena’s superfan and president of the Selena Fan Club. She also had a shrine of photos of Selena, and yet no one was like, “hey, maybe something’s a bit off with this chick”. Selena was too nice to Yolanda, letting her manage her clothing brand, and even becoming actual friends with her. But then, Yolanda remembered that she was a trash person, and risked their friendship and business relationship by stealing money from the boutique. Selena found out and fired her. Yolanda did a bunch of crazy sh*t to get sympathy from Selena, even falsely claiming she was raped. When that didn’t work, she shot Selena.
6. Rihanna
Rihanna actually had to get a restraining order against a fan after he threw a chair though her window, broke into her house, and claimed he was her future husband. Yikes. I know you can’t exactly apply logic here, but still, why did he think that strategy would work?
7. Taylor Swift
This one is actually pretty well-known, but still very scary. Basically, some man thought he was married to Taylor, and threatened to murder anyone who came between him and his beloved. He sent her threatening emails, tweets, and letters saying things like, “If anyone in Taylor Swift’s family gets killed, it is not my fault.” Jesus Christ. I’m filing a restraining order on Taylor’s behalf. Nobody should have to go through that.
These are just a few of the worst stalker stories of all time. I don’t understand why anyone would want to be famous with these kind of creeps lurking around. What other creepy stalker stories did I miss?
Images: Wikimedia Commons (6)
