Today we’re talking about Sun-In aka the product you begged your mom to buy you and the one friend you were allowed to bring on your 7th grade family vacation trip. Being super tan and super blonde was the ultimate in the early 00s and every true betch knew that the only way to look like an extra on The O.C. was to spend your allowance Daddy’s money on some Sun-In. It was the ultimate beach accessory along with your Juicy Couture cover up and RAZR flip phone, obviously.
Surprisingly, Sun-In is still a legitimate business and did not stop existing after middle school. Though the branding does still appear to target people who were born before 1985. #TheMoreYouKnow.
But let’s take a closer look at the ingredients, shall we? A huge selling point I made to my mother was that this was a “natural” product so I wasn’t actually dyeing my hair or otherwise permanently fucking it up. Lol. Sun-In is about as natural for your hair as, say, the #nofilter caption is on Ariel Winter’s Instagram photos. Which is to say, that it’s really not fucking natural. Though there are a ton of ingredients in it that sound natural (re: Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, lemon juice, flower extract, etc.) that’s only to hide the fact that this product has more hydrogen peroxide in it than Kim Kardashian had to restock in Paris Hilton’s bathroom.
But my favorite part about this product was that it was low-key sabotage to any of my brunette betches. As someone whose genes are 95% German and 5% more pale AF European ancestry, I receive nothing but sympathetic looks from people when I bare my skin at the beach. But Sun-In gave me blonde AF hair in the summer, which seemed to balance out the fact that I was slowly morphing into the red power ranger.
But with great
power hair comes great responsibility and I definitely used this product for evil to fuck with my friends. Because while Sun-In was responsible for giving me #beachgoals hair, it was also responsible for my brunette BFF starting high school with orange hair. Oops. Like what was I supposed to do, read the WARNING label that said “DO NOT USE IF YOU’RE A BRUNETTE”? Please, I’m on fucking vacation. Duh.
Nothing about today’s high schoolers is natural, so you’d think Sun-In would be v popular with the kids these days but sadly nah. Sun-In is living on the same sad Walgreen’s shelf as hair crimpers and chunky highlighter kits. RIP. Can we blame the cool moms of America for this? The ones who DGAF about letting their kids dye their hair straight out of the womb? Lucky bitches. But I mean kids these days are also, like, getting entirely new faces *cough, cough—Kylie Jenner—cough* so what’s a little hair dye added to the mix?
While I guess I’m glad beauty products have evolved from this ratchet of a standard, I am sad that there won’t be any more orange mistakes walking around in this world. You know, other than the one who runs our country. *bangs head against keyboard*