Stormy Daniels Was Arrested In A Strip Club Under Shady Pretenses

Last night in the beautiful flyover state if Ohio, pornographic actress and sexiest member of the resistance, Stormy Daniels was arrested. Performing at a strip club in Columbus, Daniels, was charged with three counts of misdemeanor sex offenses for touching patrons while she performed at Sirens Gentleman’s Club.

Allegedly she placed her breasts on the faces of patrons and fondled a few women patron’s breasts and those patrons turned out to be undercover cops who then arrested her. You know, a typical Wednesday night. I’m not making light of touching people inappropriately but this narc-heavy scenario smells highly of Eau de Setup.

Her lawyer, Michael Avenatti, famous for being hot and good at Twitter and inventing #basta also thinks it’s a setup, so vis-a-vis (wow, already dropping legalese) I am also a lawyer. 

Daniels was released on a $6,054 bail but had to cancel her remaining Columbus shows because of the incident. Honestly, feels like more of a crime to deny innocent Ohioans from a seductive night out on the town but glad these undercover cops are going after the real criminals out there. Keep up the shady work! 

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