If you’ve had the unfortunate experience of stumbling upon a man with a podcast mic, I’m so sorry. If it were up to me, you’d be eligible for some sort of compensation for mental distress. But you’ve also probably heard one of these incredibly stupid (and usually unattractive) men mention some sort of “alpha male” or “high-value man” and how relationships aren’t their thing, or even something along the lines of how “settling down with one woman and treating them right” just isn’t something intelligent men do. You know, because their big brains are processing too much information to be a good partner. Makes total sense, right? Wrong.
Aside from the fact that I (and most women) already knew this was true, a study published in Personality and Individual Differences explored how men’s intelligence is linked to certain relationship behaviors. More specifically, it showed that men with higher intelligence are more likely to invest in their relationships and less likely to engage in negative behaviors (like insulting or coercing their partner). So if you’re actually a smarter man — and not just pretending to be one — odds are, you’ll probably be a better partner, too.
The study looked at 202 men in heterosexual relationships and used a cognitive test to assess their intelligence. The participants completed a behavioral survey about jealousy, relationship investment, and satisfaction. Researchers built the study on existing ideas that intelligence might help people navigate relationships better because of skills like problem-solving and self-control.
One of the study’s most intriguing revelations is that smarter men are better at investing in their relationships. But what does that really mean? These men were more committed, more satisfied, and more likely to put in the effort to keep their relationships thriving — not just coasting along.
Even more, these brainy guys excelled in pattern recognition, a skill strongly tied to avoiding negative relationship behaviors. Why does this matter? Because they could connect the dots between their actions and the reactions they caused in their partners. In other words, these men had the awareness to recognize that certain behaviors — like being insulting or overly controlling — might spark arguments or hurt feelings, so they just didn’t go there.
So, the next time a man tries to convince you that he’s just not the “commitment type,” you can rest assured that it has nothing to do with you — he’s probably not that smart. I mean, if he’s willing to lose out on you, how could he be?
