If you’ve ever thought, “Wow, Nick Viall would make a truly horrendous Bachelor,” clearly, you weren’t on the same wavelength with ABC’s producers when they decided to create this trainwreck.
Don’t get me wrong, I can’t fucking WAIT to watch Nick whine, mope, sulk, then ever-so-subtly seduce 20 women with his “I’m so cute and sad have sex with me” routine before dumping them on national television. I’m so excited, in fact, that I need a signature cocktail to wash down the amount of cheese and nachos I’m about to consume.
Lucky for you, I’m in a sharing mood. We adapted this recipe from Chow, so, like, you’re welcome.
- 1 pint fresh blackberries
- 5 oz. raspberry simple syrup — make your usual simple syrup but muddle in a few raspberries while the mixture simmers. You don’t need to fish out the seeds or anything—it’ll add to the cocktail.
- 1 bottle dry rosé
- 9 oz. strawberry vodka
- 6 oz. lime juice
This pitcher of booze is for a crowd, or all yours—depending on what kind of night you wanna have. Grab a giant pitcher and muddle the blackberries and raspberry simple syrup until the berries are crushed but not totes destroyed. Add in the wine, vodka, and lime juice and stir.
You can strain this if you want, but we felt healthier leaving in the fruit, honestly.
Pour over ice and enjoy. Garnish with more berries and/or limes. Toast to Nick being the worst.