New quote of the year: “I’m 17 and AFRAID of Sabrina Carpenter.”
If you’re not chronically online enough to get this reference, recently someone posted a clip of Sabrina performing “Juno,” where she’s bending over and you can see her underwear (*gasp*) and captioned it: “I’m sorry but am I the only one offended? Like why is she being disgustingly sexual [in front] of children?” To which a young fan replied that were full-on scared of this tiny woman. Of course, the internet had a field day with that one.
If you know anything about Sabrina Carpenter, you know that her entire brand is being a short, cutesy girl who’s ridiculously horny. And honestly, I stan. How do I know she’s super horny? It isn’t just her “Nonsense” outros that always featured some sort of innuendo, but almost every song in her discography. Even if a song is about love or breaking up, there’s always a little sprinkle of *feral* in her lyrics — which I totally relate to. She loves a horny tune! So that’s something you might want to think about before you start worrying about “the children.” Maybe ask why parents are letting their kids go to a concert where the singer is pretty sexually explicit in all of her songs.
I know Sabrina herself has said she’s a “normal” amount of horny, but that’s also something I say before my friends give me the ultimate side-eye. But if you’re also a fellow high-libido girlie, you probably enjoyed Sabrina’s latest album Short n’ Sweet. Not only did she drop some major gems about relationships, love, and everything in between, but she did so in a way that really tickled our horny-bones. Here are the horniest Sabrina Carpenter lyrics to grace our playlists.
sabrina carpenter has done amazing things for my community (tiny horny freaks 5’2 and under)
— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) September 29, 2024
“He pins you down on the carpet/ Makes paintings with his tongue. — “Taste”
Well, what did you expect from a song called “Taste”? Starting strong with a great visual.
“Break my heart and I swear I’m movin’ on / With your favorite athlete.” — “Good Graces”
Though this doesn’t seem obnoxiously horny, it basically sends the message “I’ll have your favorite athlete do to me what you can’t.”
“This week, you’re holdin’ space for her tongue in your mouth.” — “Coincidence”
Even when she’s describing her man falling for someone else, she does it in a way that’s pretty explicit.
“Manifest that you’re oversized.” — “Bad Chem”
Who knew manifestation was also used to make sure your crush has a huge dick?
“And I bet we’d both arrive at the same time (Bed chem) /And I bet the thermostat’s set at six-nine.” — “Bad Chem”
I mean, you don’t even need an explanation here.
“My honey bee, come and get this pollen.” — “Espresso”
This is absolutely the most adorable way anyone has ever said “come fuck me.”
“This boy doesn’t even know / The difference between ‘there,’ ‘their’ and ‘they are’ /Yet he’s naked in my room.” — “Slim Pickins”
Even if he’s dumb, she’s just trying to get laid! And I understand.
“Wanna try out my fuzzy pink handcuffs?” — “Juno”
Listen, we all know what fuzzy pink handcuffs are for.
“Can’t help myself, hormonеs are high.” — “Juno”
Same.
“Hold me and explore me (Ah-ah) / I’m so fuckin’ horny.” — “Juno”
What’s hornier than just flat out saying “I’m so fuckin’ horny”? Not much. Clearly Juno is the winner of the horniest songs in her repertoire.
