This Psycho Bride Is Making Her Friends Bid On Being In Her Bridal Party

According to a story originally posted last week to Reddit by user sistersbridesmaids, a bride, who is low-key pettier than me in my Bachelorette group chat when my bracket gets fucked up by Rachel’s heart shitty taste in men, is inviting her friends to bid on a spot in her bridal party. Lol k. The post was originally written by the bride’s older sister but has since been mysteriously deleted. The thread still remains and because I am a nosy bitch who revels in gossip and Kardashian levels of family drama, I’ve taken time out of my v busy day to go through the comments of said thread. So let’s take a closer look, shall we?

Here’s what we know:

1. The bride is 22 years old and her sister is 33
2. According to the older sister, the bride is the youngest of four and is “spoiled”
3. The bride is throwing a party where her friends, FAMILY, and close acquaintances can bid to be bridesmaids
4. During the party auditions—AUDITIONS—will be held for the maid of honor position

First, I’d love to know more about these auditions. Is this like Miss America? Will there be a bikini portion? Will they be interviewed about their stance on world peace and also penis shaped party favors? I NEED ANSWERS, REDDIT TROLLS. Though I’m guessing the talent portion will consist of how well you can balance a psychopath in a white dress and her entire family while also getting shit-faced at the open bar. #Goals.

Drinking

Apparently the bride is doing all of this as a means to fund her wedding, but the sister believes the groom is wealthy AF and she doesn’t really need the money; she just likes to watch her friends grovel for her attention for sport. Honestly, she seems charming. Would probably let her sit with us.

Get In Loser We're Going Shopping

So, whatever, this bitch is clearly a self-absorbed asshole who wants to test the limits of her female friendships via a monetary Hunger Games but, like, who am I to fault her? Would I do this myself? No, because I much prefer someone not slip laxatives into my champagne on my wedding day but, you know, to each their own. Also, she’s 22 years old. OF COURSE SHE’S A PETTY, SELF-ABSORBED ASSHOLE. At 22 I was still stealing money from my mom’s purse and calling it a job. Like, give her a fucking break here.

Tbh I think the sister is the shadiest part about this post. Like why tf would you blast your family business all over Reddit? You are 33 years old and you handle your family shit about as well as Rob Kardashian. In a comment to another Reddit troll user, she tries to explain her sister’s actions with the below statement:

“My sister is kind of shallow (bet you’d never have guessed, right?) and mainly only associates with rich people, or more accurately people with rich families since none of these young 20s girls have ever held a job in their life unless it’s at their parents’ investment firm. So most of the people she sent [the invites] to have the money for this kind of thing.”

Wooooooowwww. So what I’m hearing is:

Stab Caesar

She goes on to say:

“I know she also sent a few to older friends of hers, like from high school or earlier, who she’s not only lost touch with as they got older but also were from lower income backgrounds. She has no awareness about how inappropriate it is in many ways…My family is solidly middle class but my mom has always envied wealthier people and tried to impress and imitate them. My sister probably got this from her, and now my mom feels like she gets to be part of my sister’s life of partying and shopping and luxury vacations with her fiance.”

This is low-key Khloé shitting on Kris and Kim on a rando internet site, right? Because this shit cannot possibly be real. It’s either that or some dude living in his mom’s basement pulling a Dan Humphrey and making this shit up.

Khloe And Kris

Reddit, I know you probs have some lame privacy policy but I’ll be trolling the internet waiting patiently until you confirm the identity of “sistersbridesmaids” and all of my theories.