In case you
are a homeschooled jungle freak haven’t been Keeping Up, you may have missed that Scott Disick, former longtime lover of Kourtney Kardashian and current walking human STD, has been hooking up with literal children all summer in a sad attempt to make Kourtney jealous. And people wonder why I have urges to set fires?
But remember when Scott was just Kourtney’s funny side piece? He looked less like grungy club promoter and more like that finance major you banged in college whose favorite things were Ralph Lauren and
threatening service industry workers with lawsuits hard drugs? And his best quality was shamelessly mocking the Kardashian wealth?
Those were simpler times. Well, no more. Now Scott spends his time toeing the line between “legal” and “can legally consent in less than a year” by gallivanting around Europe with Instagram’s
human pond scum most sought-after thots, and it’s like, but Scott, THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN. I mean, Penelope is 1,000 percent going to have daddy issues already, that’s a given. But it’s not too late for Reign! (Even though they did give him that name to walk through life with). And apparently I’m not the only one who’s far too emotionally invested in this shit show concerned because our favorite pot-stirrer, Kimberly Noel Kardashian West, is just not fucking having it anymore.
On Sunday night’s episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, we got to see members of the Kardashian Klan react to Scott’s slutty summer behavior, which is a sentence I’m sure my college Intro to Journalism professor would be v proud of me for writing. Anyway, the episode takes place during Kourtney’s wild vacation in Cannes with her hot model bf Younes Bendjima. In typical fuckboy fashion, Scott reacts by threatening the mother of his children while simultaneously flaunting his 19-year-old fuck buddy, Bella Thorne—a person who refers to herself as “yUnG sMuRf” on social media—during his own Euro trash vacation. *reaches for the matches*
And in case you thought that brief summary of events wasn’t fucked up enough, here’s Kourtney’s word-by-word account of his actions:
“He was like, ‘You’re gonna have a great time.’ And then he’s threatening me now. He’s like, ‘Your little friend is gonna get beat up every single day when we’re there.’ He goes, ‘Enjoy yourself. Walking around, you better watch your back.’”
Woowwwww. That is some classic sociopathic manipulation, and honestly I’m so surprised that it’s coming from someone who is known to shove 100 dollar bills down a waiter’s throat. This is truly shocking.
In her defense, Kourtney does step the fuck up and put Scott in his place by saying, “I will actually never speak to you again with your threats, you psychopath.” Which is the most emotion I have ever seen from that girl ever. Seriously, the lengths she’ll go to remain dead inside are inspiring.
And because Kim literally has to make everything about her always, she chimed in with her own thoughts about the situation. Kim said that Scott and Bella looked “so desperate” because “who goes together at LAX?” Well clearly not someone who needs to uberPOOL with their ex to the airport because their college education landed them a career that makes the salary equivalent of a Panera Bread employee. Clearly not.
As if that wasn’t a roasting enough, in a solo interview Kim goes on to say:
“I think it’s clear to everyone that Scott is doing this just to try to one-up Kourtney, and that seems super malicious. Kourtney is genuinely trying to go away and have a good time and he’s trying to like, freak her out and make Kourtney think that there’s gonna be some crazy drama running. It’s just so ridiculous.”
Thank you, Kim, for your wise observations. It’s like you looked at the situation as a human with eyes and gave us a conclusion that could have been seen from space. *whispers “you fucking idiot” under my breath* OF COURSE Scott is a manipulative asshole. Is this not the same man who had other women listed in his phone as “my wife” while he was in a committed relationship with the mother of his children? Or the guy who low-key poked holes in condoms to trap his ex-girlfriend into staying with him? And if you think that’s bullshit,
that’s valid, because I’m into conspiracy theories watch the KUWTK Miami episodes, because that shit is suspicious AF.
Tbh I’m all for roasting Scott these days, if only because it’s nice to see one fuckboy get what he deserves. Anyway, here’s hoping that the next episode Khloé finally beats the shit out of him. A girl can dream.