On Monday, I basically broke the internet (slight exaggeration) with reports that Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright broke up. And like, I didn’t make this up (for once). Jax literally commented on an IG comment asking if he and Brittany were still together with a “No”. So excuse me for taking you at your (very unreliable) word and thinking that you and Brittany had in fact, broken up WHEN YOU SAID YOU HAD BROKEN UP. Well, shortly after I posted the story, Jax took to Twitter to address the rumors. THAT HE STARTED. I mean, if you start a rumor about yourself, is that technically even a rumor? Like, if I went around telling people that I am engaged to Future, is that really a rumor or just me being a pathological liar? Some food for thought. (Future, if you’re reading this, please respond to my DMs.)
Anyway, just as I predicted in my earlier article, Jax basically acted completely shocked that people would dare suggest that he and Brittany had called it quits. Someone ELSE tweeted at him asking if he and Brittany are still together, and he responded in the most Jax way possible.
Ugh. Fuck you, Jax. Yes, I knew going into this that this was all just a publicity stunt and those two wouldn’t give up on their
desperate clinging to relevance love so easily, but still. Saying I didn’t get my hopes up anyway would be a lie. I mean, you guys all saw it. I was rooting for this breakup. We were all rooting for it. Is that terrible to say? IDK. Maybe this is why I’m single and broke with worse acne as a 26-year-old than I had in middle school. Or it could be due to my horrific diet and sleeping patterns. Guess we’ll never know.
Anyway, I’m so excited to see Jax and Brittany be constantly at each other’s throats on Vanderpump Rules next season! God, I really do hate myself.