Jackie Goldschneider would kick your ass in a beer chugging contest, as she proved not only on the Real Housewives of New Jersey but in the Betches office. No, she didn’t actually challenge me mid-interview to choke down a Heiniken, but she is confident in her skills. In addition to Beer Chugger Extraordinaire, Jackie has officially added Author to her resume.
Jackie’s newly released book, The Weight of Beautiful, details her experience living with and recovering from an eating disorder. The memoir also covers her childhood, law school, marriage, motherhood, and, of course, her time on RHONJ. What it may *not* include though… are chapters on blowjobs and analogies.
HALL OF BETCHES INDUCTION:
What was your go-to lunch when you were a kid?
Oh, I loved turkey pastrami sandwiches with mayo.
Love that. What is your death row meal?
Oh, man. Maybe even pizza. I don’t know. I haven’t had pizza in a really long time, so maybe pizza.
Can never go wrong with pizza. What was your biggest fashion regret as a kid?
Oh, my God, I grew up in Staten Island. Everything was a fashion regret. I had this just outfit, this matching top and bottom with geometric shapes all over it that’s so ugly. I don’t know why I bought it.
Ok, but matching sets are sooo hot right now. Are there any trends from your childhood that you would like to see make a comeback?
Oh, yes. There was a store called Units and they sold a piece of clothing and you could wear it at a top, a skirt, a belt. It was so easy and you just bought three of them and then you had a whole out and you can move it around. I would love for that to come back, so easy.
Bring Units back. What was the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done to impress a crush?
I think probably did too many shots and then got way too drunk.
This is my favorite question. If you could have a dream dinner party with six celebrities, who would be at your table?
I get crazy for musicians and really powerful politicians and news people, very smart. But I think I’d probably fill it actually with musicians who I’ve always loved growing up. Madonna would definitely have a seat at that table. Oh, gosh. Probably Paul McCartney, Paul Simon. I love a lot of that kind of music. Maybe Lady Gaga. Just really groundbreaking musicians.
That’s a vibe. How often do you Google yourself?
Not that often. I don’t really want to know. Literally once every two weeks. Because if something is bad, someone will send it to me.
Speaking of the internet, what’s the last thing you searched online?
For more clothes because we’re filming right now and I always need clothes and I have a whole book tour coming up, so clothes. Last night I was looking at clothes until 8:30 and I’m like, God, I have to go eat dinner.
Relatable! What kind of things do you write in your phone notes app?
Do you really want to know? I have a lot of really good one-liners for comebacks and I always forget to use them, but I’ve got a lot of them.
Omg, are there any you’re willing to share?
Oh, yeah. If someone rolls their eyes at me, I’ve been waiting to say this one, “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.” Yeah. But they’re all kind of like that, but I always forget.