It's Like You Have ESPN Or Something: Weekend Horoscopes Feb. 19-21

So far, 2021 has been a mixed bag. In less than two full months, it’s given us snow and bitter cold in Texas and an attempted coup, but we’ve also gotten a bit of hope hope related to COVID-19, and a President who doesn’t angrily tweet from a toilet at 2:30 in the morning. Overall, I’d say we’re on the up and up. Since we’re now past the made-up holiday that is Valentine’s Day and closer to f*cking summer, maybe the stars will be a little kinder to us this weekend. It is Pisces season, after all. Let’s dive in.


Tune in to whatever your gut tells you this weekend, Pisces. If work on Friday seems less important than relaxation, obey the vibes and head on out. Your boss will understand, probably. Listen to your gut on Saturday and Sunday, otherwise you might miss an opportunity to do hot girl sh*t, and we wouldn’t want that.


It’s all about communication this weekend, Aries. If you haven’t set aside time lately to call friends or meet up in person (safely), carve out some time on Saturday to do so, whether it’s over lunch at a local spot or on a short hike where you pretend to love the outdoors. Sunday you’ll want to spread some kindness around, so clean out your closet and donate your unused sh*t or go buy a bunch of dog food and toys for the local animal shelter.


It’s a great weekend to get your f*cking tax sh*t together, Taurus. Start gathering your documents and prepare to file like a real adult this year. Saturday is also fantastic for redoing your resume. You don’t need to include the dog-washing job you had in college anymore. I know you think it makes you seem approachable and interesting, but nobody cares.


You’re more energetic than a 90s kid after a pack of Dunkaroos, Gemini. This weekend, make sure to try and expend all the energy you seem to have and make time for a long walk, intense DIY project (like one that maybe involves limited use of power tools), and/or exploring towns close by.


Get ready for some wild dreams this weekend, Cancer. If there’s no other excuse to sleep in super late on Saturday, just tell your concerned friends and family that you’re trying to get in touch with the universe. Bed stuff aside, use the weekend to dote on yourself since this week has been kind of rough. And one more thing: try to think before you speak. The stars are lining up in a way that could make you blurt out stupid sh*t if you aren’t careful.


Partnership and friendship are front and center this weekend, Leo. Basically, you need to make time for the people who mean the most to you on Saturday with either a (safe) meetup at a local restaurant for dinner or a FaceTime brunch where you can all get absolutely ripped on mimosas in the privacy of your own homes. For your S.O., try to do something they want to do this weekend. If it means getting dragged through Lowe’s to look at drywall, whatever.


It’s all about your healthy habits—or lack thereof—this weekend, Virgo. Take notice of how your weekend goes in regards to your eating habits, snacking habits, exercise, and self-care. You may find that the absence of taking a little time for you is majorly f*cking up your work week. Give yourself some grace and relax with a mud mask, lots of water, and feel-good foods.


The moon wants you to get creative this weekend, Libra. If you’ve been wanting to show your boss that you can do a way better job than the creative director on that project, use Saturday to mock some stuff up to present on Monday. If she hates it, you’re no worse off than you are now. You’ll also feel the pull for some extra romance, so use Sunday to tackle your S.O. and demand snuggles.


Another week, another emotional rollercoaster, right Scorpio? Along with feeling a little extra sensitive this weekend, you’ll actually be feeling a little psychic (like you have ESPN or something) thanks to the moon. Use your powers for good and guide some friends through some sticky situations.


Hooray for partnership, Sagittarius. Use this weekend to focus on your partner and communicate about all the sh*t you two usually sweep under the rug. Thanks to the planets not being assholes, you’ll actually hear each other and there will be less chance of a screaming match. If you’re single, it’s a great weekend to meet someone special, so don’t be afraid to say yes to a date that feels even semi-promising.


Time for a little reflection, Capricorn. It’s been a while since you’ve had a weekend where you sit back, relax, and think about your life, but this is the time to do it. Even if the time spent thinking about the awkward interactions you’ve had with coworkers are semi-painful, it’s a good time to reflect on all the different things you could have said, right?


Passion and love are finally in your future this weekend, Aquarius. If you’ve felt like the last few weeks have been uncharacteristically tiresome, loveless, and bleh, don’t fret—the end is in sight. Your partner will find you completely irresistible on Saturday, so lean in to that, if you’re into it. Sh*t, maybe this is a good time to bring up that whole living together thing, right?

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Images: @mathildelangevin / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson