Is It The Weekend Yet?: Weekly Horoscopes December 16-22

This week, unfortunately, is all about waiting. Waiting for the weekend. Waiting for time off work. Waiting for Venus to enter Aquarius and revitalize all of our lives. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Maybe next year we can find a way to make December only three weeks long? Just a thought…


Your body is in the week, but your brain is in the weekend. Basically, it’s all holiday parties, happy hours, and the occasional half-assed work assignment for you from now until 2020. Luckily, Venus moves into Aquarius on Friday, making you the life of literally every party. Single Aries should also keep an eye out for a new person to pop up at one of these events—they could end up being your winter boo.


Now is not the time for giving up! Now is the time for a last-minute productivity push. While everyone else is blacking out on eggnog every night this week, you’ll be drinking a more reasonable amount of eggnog and showing up for work on time and ready to go. Don’t let your slacker friends talk you out of this instinct, because it could all come together in a big way Friday, when Venus brings some intense good vibes to your 10th House of professional success.


You should start charging an hourly rate, because this week you’re basically a therapist. You can’t help it—your advice is just that good. At times it’ll seem like the whole world is coming to you for guidance, and you should try to help them the best you can. It could come in handy starting Friday, when Venus moves into Aquarius and has you dying to skip town. Maybe one of the people you helped has a cabin you can spend a weekend (or three) at?


Your work life might feel particularly frustrating this week as you can see the holidays on the horizon, but don’t let yourself get bogged down in despair. Use this time to get your goals for 2020 in order because on Friday, Venus will be moving into your House of eroticism and your mind will be on, shall we say, other things from then until the new year.


A creativity boost will help you in achieving a major goal this week, so don’t write off your craziest ideas. They might secretly be genius ideas that are just a little drunk right now. Lean into wherever this creative energy takes you. At the very least, it’ll keep things interesting while you wait for the work week to be over.


You’re letting optimism into your life, which is kind of a rare occurrence for you, Virgo. Make sure you extend the rosy outlook to yourself and ease up on the negative self-talk. Take this as an opportunity to be gentle with yourself this week, because Venus moves into Aquarius on Friday and will pull you right back into your usual grind.


You might find yourself playing the voice of reason a lot this week, which isn’t usually your thing. You’re typically more likely to be the friend cheering on the sidelines than the one calmly explaining why getting in a fight with the rude bartender is probably not a good idea. Embrace this role reversal for now, and just know that on Friday the clock will strike midnight and you’ll turn right back into the bad influence you were always meant to be.


Your professional life is on fire right now, Scorpio! So much so that you may even be seeing a windfall of cash this week (hello, end-of-year bonus!) Be sure to save at least some of it right away. On Friday, Venus will bring you into a period of intense hibernation, meaning you’re more likely to blow all your money on takeout than on shots at the bar.


Work on setting goals for 2020 this week, and really let your ambitions take the wheel. Seriously, the sky’s the limit. Go wild on that vision board. Sure, “become Beyoncé” is kind of a hard goal to actually achieve, but you’ll worry about filling in the details later. This will come in handy over the weekend, when Venus will have you wanting to do anything but work from now until January.


You’re feeling very generous this week, which is pretty perfect, considering ‘tis the season for giving. You’re killing it at the office secret santa, slaying the thoughtful cards, and absolutely destroying at your friend group’s white elephant. Basically, this week you’re Santa, which is good because starting Friday, Venus will be in Aquarius, electrifying your house of personal finances and luxury, meaning you’ll be wayyy more interested in spending that hard earned cash on yourself.


Time to check in with your core crew before the year is out, Aquarius! Make sure you’re not letting an important relationship go ignored, and let your besties know how much they mean to you before Friday rolls around and Venus enters your sign—meaning you’ll be literally mobbed with strangers vying for your attention. It’s not your fault you’re so popular.


You’re experiencing a renewed focus on health right before the holidays, which is great for you, Pisces. Not many people can say the same. Get those extra sweat sessions and green juices in before you go into full holiday hibernation mode starting Friday. After that, you’ll be legally obligated not to leave your mom’s couch or turn down a single one of Grandma’s famous cookies.

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Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.