Earlier this week, we finally got to meet the new crop of women who are looking for
sponsorship deals love on this season of The Bachelor. As per usual, the producers found 30 of the hottest, most desperate ladies from around the nation, and now we get to watch their shenanigans every Monday night. Who said America doesn’t have culture? There are obviously way too many contestants to keep track of, and some of the more random ones have already been sent home, but we’re starting to get an idea of who this season’s heavy hitters will be. Of course, it’s early in the season, and someone could surprise us, but right now, it looks like this year’s breakout star will be Hannah Ann.
On the season premiere, Hannah Ann made a strong impression—both on Pilot Pete and the viewers. She notably asked to steal Peter three different times, and was also the first woman that Peter kissed of his own free will. This behavior could’ve easily come off thirsty,
and it did but it paid off, and Hannah Ann got Peter’s first impression rose. On the Bachelor Happy Hour podcast, Peter explained his choice, saying Hannah Ann “knew exactly what she wanted coming into this and never let me question that.” Personally, that sounds like the beginning of a scenario in which someone gets kidnapped, but I’m glad he’s into it. Rachel Lindsay compared Hannah Ann’s night one behavior to the infamous Luke P, but Peter wasn’t having it. (I honestly think a more apt comparison is Corinne, but I have a feeling they don’t speak her name anymore in ABC-approved Bachelor world.) I don’t think Hannah Ann is going to win this season, but Peter is obviously fond of her.
We’ll have to wait to see how Hannah Ann’s time on the show unfolds, but in the mean time, there’s so much more information we need to talk about. As we already knew from reading her bio, Hannah Ann is a 23-year-old model from Knoxville, Tennessee. She loves to paint, and still lives with her parents, which seems like a big red flag until you remember she’s only 23. This combination of facts doesn’t make me confident that she’s ready for marriage, but I also suspect that’s not really why she’s on the show. I know, groundbreaking!
Hannah Ann’s bio really doesn’t stand out much from all the other women on The Bachelor, but there’s a lot more than meets the eye. When I first went to her Instagram, I was shocked to see that she already has almost 200,000 followers. I’m sorry, what?? This season started not 48 hours ago, and Hannah Ann already has all the followers she needs in order to never work a normal job again. I did a quick comparison with other early frontrunners this season, and this is… not normal. While Madison, who got the season’s first one-on-one date, has 186K followers, none of the other women have even cracked the 100K mark.
Hannah Ann’s large number of followers can partly be attributed to the fact that she’s like, an actual model. She’s posted photos from campaigns for celebrity-backed brands like Kristin Cavallari’s Uncommon James and Khloé Kardashian’s Good American, which are actually pretty legit jobs. But personally, my favorite gig of hers is as the woman running on the Downy detergent bottle. Make that sweet, sweet laundry coin, Hannah Ann.
Besides her real-world modeling cred, Hannah Ann is also friends with some influential people in the Bachelor universe. She met Hannah Godwin through modeling, and they’ve actually been good friends for over a year now. Just look at this post from September, 2018, in which Hannah Ann called Hannah “the ketchup to my fries.” Yeah thanks, I hate that. Neither of you has ever so much as swallowed one fry, so stop pretending. More importantly, this timeline means that the two Hannahs (this is exhausting) were friends before Hannah G even went on The Bachelor, so it’s not a relationship built solely on desperation.
In other “because duh” news, Hannah Ann has also been friends with Caelynn for a long time, as evidenced by this comment on her photo from all the way back in 2017. There’s an easy explanation for this friendship: pageants. Yeah, this show just gets more predictable year after year. Hannah Ann never won a major pageant title like Caelynn or Hannah Brown, she placed in the top five of Miss Tennessee USA four different years. Maybe I’m dumb, but I really did not realize that pageants worked like this. I always thought that if you didn’t win on your first or second try, you hung up your sash, but I guess Hannah Ann isn’t a quitter.
With these connections in mind, it’s no big surprise that the Bachelor producers found Hannah Ann. She’s the exact archetype of what a perfect Bachelor contestant looks like in 2020, so it was only a matter of time. Honestly, she might be the closest thing to a network plant (besides Tia) we’ve had on the show. So maybe her getting the first impression rose isn’t a coincidence, after all? Whatever, I’m not here to talk about conspiracy theories.
Anyway, now that Hannah Ann finally has a taste of Bachelor fame, it looks like she’s not wasting it. On Monday, she posted about the premiere (of course with a hot photo that had nothing to do with the show), and everyone took notice of one thirsty comment in particular.It came from none other than Patrick Schwarzenegger, who’s famous for being a Schwarzenegger, a Kennedy, and an ex of Miley Cyrus. In the era of Bachelor alums dating stars like Gigi Hadid and Demi Lovato, why wouldn’t Patrick Schwarzenegger be dropping thirsty comments on Hannah Ann’s photos. Honestly, it’s what she deserves.
While this isn’t like, a hard and fast spoiler for the season, Hannah Ann’s flirty reply to Patrick’s comment makes me feel like she probably isn’t getting engaged to Pilot Pete. And really, why would she want to? She’s clearly getting all the exposure and followers she could ever want from this, so why would she want to be tied down? I have a feeling she’s going to pull a full Tyler Cameron—make it far in the season, then go do absolutely whatever she wants. Maybe she’ll go to Paradise, maybe she won’t, but the world is her oyster. Now get out there and get those sponsorship deals!
Images: ABC; Amazon, hannahann_sluss / Instagram (3)