No one plays mind games better than a betch can. But, too often, bros go and give us a run for our money, particularly when they ghost us. We’ve all been there, watching that “Delivered” text suddenly turn to “Read” without a response, an emoji, or even a goddamn thumbs up reaction, WE AREN’T ASKING FOR MUCH, MEN. You know what they say about a watched pot never boiling? That might be the case, but it certainly makes me fucking heated. But are we reaching our boiling point too easily and too quickly? After all, the line between ignoring someone and having a legit excuse is as hazy as the number of guys you hooked up with during freshman year. (Oops.) But how can you tell if he’s actually ignoring you, or if he’s just, like, being accidentally silent? It’s tough, but that’s where us betches come in to help you read the tea leaves. Here are exactly five situations where he is most likely ghosting you… and what to do in them. (Besides drop him. Trust us, you deserve better, queen.)
1. You Text Him “Hey” Out Of The Blue And He Hasn’t Replied For Hours
If he usually replies right away, and you have reason to believe he’s ignoring you, then he might be ignoring you. If he’s less tied to his phone (#jelly) or you have reason to believe he might be busy, try texting him something more interesting. A “hey” is, like, just asking to be ignored. Tbh, even if we weren’t busy, we’d find something to do just so we didn’t have to respond to a “hey.” You aren’t a Lumineers song, so quit acting like it. But, hey, he might just be busy. The only way to find out is send a better ice-breaker, or a question that begs for more than a “yes” or “no” answer. Your wit is irresistible, after all, so now’s your time to shine. 🌠
2. You Were In The Middle Of A Conversation Where He Said He Wanted To Hang Out But He Stopped Replying
This tends to happen right when you tried to nail down a time and place. “Sure, does Thursday work?” Radio silence for days. Sure, he could be in the middle of driving or working out and just didn’t think to mention it since you were having such good conversation, but, like, we live in the real world — for the time being, at least. (I can’t even comprehend the rock bottom that would be ghosting in the Metaverse.) So here’s what you do: put your phone on silent, and distract yourself with a more fulfilling activity than doom-waiting — say, an old episode of Curbed, if you want to feel a little better about your own social anxiety. If he doesn’t respond after that, he’s dead to us. If he responds days later, tell him your Thursday just got booked, and that you’re sorry it didn’t work out. After all, you’re a busy woman with a lot more Curb to watch.
3. You Made Plans To Hang Out Over A Week Ago But When You Text Him To Confirm He Doesn’t Reply
Last week, he couldn’t wait to see you again. Now he’s not replying to confirm what time you’re meeting. As Cece so eloquently phrases it, “Men suck.” Okay, so maybe he got caught up at work. But… most people have their phones at work, right? And most people would still give their friends a heads up if a plan changes. So, like, wtf? Here’s the thing: Don’t you dare show up to that date without a confirmation text. You’re a betch with important things to do — if a guy can’t be bothered to confirm your date, you should just assume it’s not happening and then make plans to get drunk with your friends instead. And when you do get that inevitable bullshit apology from him? Turn the tables, and ignore, ignore, ignore. Boy, bye.
4. You Responded To A Text He Sent You Asking “What’s Up” & He Hasn’t Replied Back
Also… he liked a status of yours since, wtf?? Here’s wtf, real talk: The fact that he liked your status is indication he doesn’t want to reply to your text. He wants you to know he’s still DTF, but not really interested in talking to you. He’s definitely ignoring you, and you can react by forgetting he exists. 🥰
5. You Texted Him Something Important That Definitely Warrants A Response
You were like, “Hey, I left my car keys in your apartment, is there any way you can let me back in?” And now it’s been two hours and you walked home. Still no response. He did say he had “a lot of work to do” when you left, but this is 2023 and we all bring our phones to the bathroom. So this might be one situation in which it’s okay to go Stage 5 Psycho on him and show up at his place unannounced — you just want your pink shirt stuff back!!
The bottom line is, if you think he’s ignoring you, he probably is, and you should ignore him right the fuck back. He might think he’s playing hard to get, but ultimately he’s playing himself. Betches have about as much time for childish bullshit as we do for people who talk to us before we’ve had coffee — aka none, thanks!
