The first few weeks of January are notorious for everyone and their mom going harder than a motherf*cker in the gym. All the machines are taken, all the and the locker room is a complete mess. Germs and butt sweat EVERYWHERE. Literally, it’s like a riot in there. If you are already a regular and consistent gym-goer…it could actually be the perfect day to skip a session. And like the angel that I am, I’m here to tell you that missing a workout could actually be your key to losing weight. Ok, thank me now.
Here’s how this works. Cortisol is this vicious little hormone in our body that gets released under intense situations. Think fight or flight. Think cramming for an exam an hour before test time. Think running away from the annoying guy at the bar after last call. Think waiting to find out the results of your last pregnancy test. Just basically stressed tf out. Well, our body perceives super high intensity workouts (like Crossfit, boot camp, very long periods of endurance training) as a serious stressor on our body. Like, more or less as stressful as waiting to see if you have a total f*ckboy’s baby on the way. The result of these stressors is elevated cortisol levels in the body.
Side note: To me, this is totally unfair. Do you mean I’m working out to look hot but my body perceives me working out as it’s time to store fucking fat? What the fuck is this?
ANYWAY. When your body is constantly at elevated cortisol levels, the body is more likely to store fat, especially in the belly area ie: FUPA. Fantastic, just what every woman wants. Imagine if you’re already constantly stressing out AND you’re also constantly working out until you’re about to hurl–that’s like double the cortisol. No, thank you. The only thing we want double of around here is shots, k? And maybe like a sexy twin brother situation. So, if this sounds like you–constantly working out, waking up before the crack of dawn to hit the gym, training even when you’re sore/tired/generally exhausted–and you still can’t seem to lose that gut, just skip a f*cking workout. Taking a day or two off to chill out can help your body recover and moderate that cortisol level, decreasing your body’s tendency to hang on to fat and increasing its ability to metabolize energy. And if you’re already the bare minimum betch gym-wise…consider this permission to just forget it all and take up meditating full time. I support you.
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