Here's How Politicians Are Reacting To The Mueller Report

Not to be too crude, but the Mueller investigation has ended and it feels like letting out a big sh*t you’ve kept in for 22 months. But the terrible part is it doesn’t even feel like a relief. Usually, I wouldn’t make a poop joke in the first sentence of an article, but Mueller concluded no collusion and now the world feels extra lawless and I’ll do as I please.

Obviously we’ve been preparing our reaction gifs to this moment for months and politicians are no different. Here’s what’s being said across the aisle, not that our government matters at all any more or whatever.

The Dems

In the Dems’ dream scenario, Mueller would usher in Tyra Banks who would not pull out Trump’s photo and he’d be sent back to pack his bags and leave immediately. Since this did not happen, and there’s no collusion, Dems are really pushing to see the whole report and get to the bottom of why Mueller felt he could not say one way or another if the president committed obstruction of justice. (His inability to smize?)



Unfortunately, the GOP is gloating and celebrating by probably ordering an extra round of White Russians at their country clubs or whatever. The general gist is that they think Dems have wasted all of our time by pushing for this and it’s also somehow the media’s fault.

The President’s (Least Favorite) Son

The President

and finally, for the best take of all:

Billy Eichner


Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend the rest of the day contemplating this exact question.

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