Feeling Flirty For Fall: Weekend Horoscopes October 11-13

This weekend, the planets are telling all of us, collectively, to take some much needed “us” time. That means ignoring your friends’ dating problems, your mom’s Rotary Club dilemmas, and your bestie’s sixteenth attempt at “really getting into hot yoga.”

The stars want you to buy some plaid sh*t from J.Crew from the sanctity of your couch and with one hand firmly grasping a piece of pizza, a Taco Bell party box (for one, please), or whatever kind of piping hot junk food your heart desires. That, or they just have some f*cked up way of telling us to be open to whatever the universe has in store. Grool.


Take time to breathe this weekend, Libra. You’ve been stuck between wanting some “me” time, taking care of your partner or bestie, and dealing with the cleaning nightmare that is your apartment. Focus on that sh*t on Saturday night and Sunday, and take Friday and Saturday morning for you. Head to a solo brunch, get a mani/pedi, or, if you’re f*cking weird, I guess take a nice relaxing yoga class.


Like Kanye, you need the weekend to express your creative genius, Scorpio. Saturday, do something creative like attending a woodworking class or culinary workshop. F*ck, try out a new brownie recipe without actually following a recipe. Whatever you do, let your inner artist shine, fam.


Everyone is picking up on your hella positive vibes, Sagittarius, so don’t shut yourself away this weekend. The sun and Mars are sittin’ in Libra, making your social and friendship-y feels go off the charts, so it’s a great weekend to go apple picking, wear a scarf to brunch, and do other v basic fall sh*t with your besties.


Time to pay attention to everyone and everything, Capricorn. This weekend will be a balancing act between getting some much needed you time, calling your mom and assuring her you’re eating well (and not scrounging for leftover pizza in the back of your fridge), and telling your boss yes, you can totally work on that project over the weekend. It’s all doable, but try not to burn yourself out. Make time Friday night to kick off the weekend with a drink and dinner with your beau or bestie, then dive into the clusterf*ck that is your to-do list. Adulthood is so fun.


As Captain Planet would say, “the power is YOURRRRSSSSSS!” this weekend, Aquarius, thanks to some planets doing some alignments filling you with tons of adventure energy. It’s a great weekend for doing out-of-the-box sh*t with your friends, so try to ditch the usual brunch and bullsh*t Saturday morning that’s been your group’s go-to for awhile. You could go the basic route and do the whole apple picking and fall thing, or you could head out to the mountains to stare at leaves changing. Sounds v fetch to us.


It’s the perfect weekend to do new sh*t, Pisces. Get cultural and see a foreign-language movie with a friend so you can try to read subtitles in the dark. Saturday is a perfect day for exploring other cultures in the form of food, so try something that truly terrifies you culinary-wise. It doesn’t have to be still-wriggling seafood or like, illegally caught fish, though.


Starting Friday and Saturday with a jog will put your weekend into a better focus, Aries. Exercising sucks, but burning off some steam can definitely help when it comes to butting heads with your partner or close family members. Plus, Mars is pushing you HARD to focus on commitment—whether it’s your current relationship or pursuing a new one. Set time aside for dates and sexy times, fam.


Dreams are something to actually pay attention to this weekend, Taurus. Sure, that recurring nightmare where all your teeth fall out and you turn into a Kardashian is especially terrifying, but what does it mean? The sun and Mars in Libra are also pushing you to do a pulse check on your health and well-being (see what I did there?), so try to take a hard look at your diet and exercise on Saturday and Sunday to see if you can make any easy improvements without making yourself miserable.


Time for some motherf*cking romance, Gemini. The sun and Mars in Libra are stirring up your passion and love center, which translates to date night with your SO on Friday or Saturday, followed by some v weird (but cool) bedroom sh*t. If you’re single, gtfo of the house, knock back a shot, and flirt your ass off. You’re like, pretty irresistible at the moment (thanks, space and planets), so everything cosmically is working in your favor.


Stay away from drama this weekend, Cancer. There’s a strong potential that friends and family will try to drag you into some sticky sh*t, but you need to focus (especially on Saturday) on self-care and creativity. That could mean everything from letting your phone die (okay, but not rly) and binging some British baking shows or eating a party pack of tacos meant for 4-6 people. Do you.


The moon in Aries has you feeling energetic and ready to tackle some long-overdue sh*t this weekend, Leo. It’s actually prime time on Saturday to indulge in a staycation and explore your own neighborhood. Head to that restaurant you’ve been putting off visiting for months. Then, come Sunday, turn your focus to doing some creative house sh*t, like painting a mural in your bathroom. You’ll probably hate it later, but the planets do what they want, fam.


Use this weekend to learn some sh*t, Virgo. Grab a friend or your SO and hit the road to explore the countryside, where leaves are changing, tourists are snapping v basic pictures, and you can try apples in just about anything. It’s also a great weekend to learn some sh*t, so set aside Sunday to watch a YouTube video about, like, changing the oil in your car or something.

Images: Giphy (12)

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson