Raise your hand if you’re seriously sick of this suffocating heat that keeps ruining your too-expensive blowout. You and every other basic betch are just about ready for that time of year where we all pretend to know what a touchdown is. I’m as down for day drinking and looking like a golden goddess as every other normal person, but TBH, I do that shit all year round and like, it’s the 21st century. Vegan tanning products exist so you can feel better about yourself get a fucking spray tan whenever you want without killing animals and getting skin cancer. NGL, I’m sick of peeing while naked wearing rompers and I’m just roséd out. Like with coffee orders, nail polish colors, Bumble guys most things in life, I get v bored after like, three months. That being said, I need summer to GTFO so I can get rid of this lame blonde hair and go back to having ~tame~ dark hair. The season of change basically brings on an entirely new persona, so ask your hair stylist for one of these hair trends so you can leave the summer you behind.
1. Modern Shag
I know what you’re thinking: “Unless you’re starring on Stranger Things, there’s no excuse for a shag hair cut.” Well, that’s where you’re wrong because 1) I’m literally always right and 2) it’s not just limited to people with curly hair. The modern shag is an upgrade for all hair types, regardless of texture, because it’s a v different personalized look for everyone. You may swear off bangs every time you see your middle school yearbook photo, but guess what. They’re coming back, whether we like it or not, and since ‘tis the season for all that is basic, you’ll probs find yourself anxious to look like every other Insta model in your feed. Ask for the shag with choppy textured layers for an extra volumized edgy look this moody fall.
2. Dark And/Or LowLights
When I say new hair = new you, I don’t mean go MIA for 3 years, erase all of your social media accounts, let out your teenage angst in a shitty pop song, and say the “old you is dead” pull a Taylor Swift and dye your hair black.
^^^How I picture Taylor rn. No but really, can someone see if she’s OK?
You don’t have to be so dramatic with a whole 360. If you have blonde hair and platinum highlights, cool the Barbie thing down with natural-looking lowlights. Opt for a warm chocolate to make your sun-kissed blonde pop. The color contrast kind of serves like a contour for your hair and provides tons of movement so it doesn’t look flat. For natural brunettes, cool down sandy browns or warm up black-ish tones with a spicy nutmeg shade. The rich color adds radiance to both your hair and face for a perf glow.
3. Not Your Grandma’s Gray, A Cool Gray
The hipster-y silver hair can honestly be really fucking fab, or just downright fugly. The cool toned look is really ideal if you’re super blonde and have no intentions of turning back to black. If you’re getting bored (and going broke) from all of your root and platinum retouches, consider asking for an icy blonde or white silver as a transition away from summer vacay vibes. It preps you for cardigans and boots without actually going dark. Who knew hiding real life gray preemies was considered trendy? Thank God. *nervously laughs* and then cries:
4. Blorange
It sounds like a weird BJ trick Cosmo would advise involving an orange but, luckily it’s not. This hair trend can be done in multiple ways, especially one that best suits your natural hair color. Since fall is full of all things orange and pumpkin, it’s only natural that we consider dying our whole head the color of a fucking pumpkin spiced latte. If you’re on the blonder side, ask for super low-key orange-y pink lowlights. It’ll def add some color to your pasty white skin. If you’re on the reddish side already, swap out some blonde highlights for warm brown lowlights. The cinnamon look will make you crave Fireball way more than you already do when you’re blackout. That’s not true at all but, maybe if you just believe, it’ll work.
5. Heavy Bangs
I told you bangs were coming back, so don’t say I didn’t warn you. If done right, maybe you’ll finally look as skinny trendy as a Hadid. Maybe. This fall’s hair trend will def be focusing on bangs, and lots of them. If you’re feeling brave, ask for thick heavy bangs that fall right below your eyebrow for a clean polished style. If they’re too long in your face, you’ll end up looking like a serial killer. If they’re too short, you’ll look like a hipster. So really make sure you know what you want before you go in with this. This look is particularly flattering on rounder face shapes because they frame and slim down your face. Cheers to looking skinny without any form of exercise!!! Bonus points if you can ditch the layers for a blunt cut. A single layer makes your hair look fuller, healthier, and like, so badass.
