So, unfortunately, we’ve all been there before: stuck on a fuckboy you think you’ll never get over, even though in reality they treat you like shit. And not to get super emo, but that’s exactly where I found myself two months ago – trying to get over a situationship I dealt with for three-plus years too long with a guy who sucked (in life and in bed). And for the record: yes, I have plenty of (very patient and amazing) friends that lovingly told me for the duration of the relationship that I needed to move on and listened to me every time I had something to whine about. (Like the time he ditched me the night of my birthday or about the time I found out that he went out on a date with another girl before spending the night at my apartment, LOL.) But this was one of those things that I needed to decide to get over on my own terms, and while I’ve never been much of a reader, when I did finally decide to move on from that fuckboy, I turned to the gems on this list to help me not only move on, but change my outlook on life (and relationships). I swear the following list of dating advice podcasts and books will change your life and your mindset, no matter what you’re going through.
Books
‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne
So I have to give credit where credit is due with this one—a good friend of mine would suggest copping this book every time I spoke to her (over chips, guac, and countless margs, of course) about my issues with Fuckboy. And one day, after a FaceTime sesh while she was visiting her mom who also spoke highly of the The Secret, I decided to give it a read, and I’m so glad I did. While this book at times can seem a little repetitive and read a little cult-like, it played a big role in changing my attitude and the way I think about things. Basically, the book talks about “the secret to life” aka how the law of attraction is very real and plays a major role in manifesting anything you could ever want in love, relationships, health, wealth, and life in general. It convinces you that if you think and speak positively and are grateful for everything you already have, then you send frequencies into the universe to attract even more #blessings. That sounds a little woo-woo, I know, but at its core, The Secret advocates for positive thinking, which has been scientifically proven to improve outcomes. But don’t just take my word for it, people like Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah have been talked about using the secret to life, so considering their success, maybe we should all give it a try.
‘Strong Looks Better Naked’ by Khloé Kardashian
Considering I read Koko’s book literally the week before Tristan Thompson was caught cheating on her, the first thing I thought when hearing the news was, “Omg, I hope she writes another book now.” Whatever, call me selfish, but this book was good—I mean, she didn’t get the deal for Revenge Body for nothing. (I mean, I guess Kris probably had a lot to do with it, but whatever, you know what I mean.) While the youngest Kardashian sister isn’t exactly the most eloquent writer, the book reads almost like you’re talking to your (super rich and famous) blunt BFF. Khloé shares how she was always known as the fat, funny sister growing up (same, tbh) and when shit hit the fan in her personal life, aka finding out Lamar Odom was addicted to crack, she used all of that negative energy to train her mind, body, and soul to become the best version of herself (and get super fucking hot in the process).
‘Unfuck Yourself’ by Gary John Bishop
If you respond well to tough love, then Gary John Bishop is your guy. In Unfuck Yourself, the personal development expert tells you how to get the fuck out of your head and start living your life. The author perfectly targets the anxiety-ridden reader who has a habit of creating the shittiest situations in their heads and consequently ruins their own lives by letting those thoughts consume them. (Just me, then??) Whether you’re trying to get over a fuckboy or trying to talk yourself off the ledge from over-analyzing a text message, do yourself a favor and turn to your boy Gary so you can unfuck yourself.
‘How To Be Single And Happy’ by Jennifer L. Taitz
If you’re a delicate fucking flower who needs things to be told to you a little more gently, Dr. Jenny Taitz’s How To Be Single And Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking For A Soul Mate should be your go-to. Using a mix of patient and personal anecdotes combined with scientific studies, she helps explain many modern dating phenomena (like ghosting) and really demonstrate that life does not start when you find a boyfriend. (Don’t roll your eyes, we all have that friend.) Dr. Taitz’s book will help you find your sense of self and independence, told in a palatable tone that makes the advice easy to swallow. It’s basically like what your therapist would tell you, without the crazy copay.
Podcasts
U Up?
Our list wouldn’t be complete without featuring Betches’ U Up? podcasts featuring our resident go-to straight guy, Jared Freid. In the weekly podcast, the comedian talks with our founder Jordana Abraham about any and everything related to the shitstorm that is the modern dating world. From the douchebags we find on dating apps to questions you need answered regarding hooking up to (my personal fave) the reason guys comment on Instagram thots’ pics, no topic is off-limits. Jared and Jordana won’t hold your hand and wipe your tears after getting in a fight with your guy, but they will answer all of the questions about dating and hooking up that you didn’t know you needed answered.
Guys We F****d
In the Guys We F****d podcast, Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson basically play a totally acceptable version of kiss-and-tell, except it’s more of like a fuck and then interview the guy/tell their listeners all about their experience. The comedians and friends that makeup the stand-up duo Sorry About Last Night ask the guys that they’ve fucked totally intrusive questions about their time together—questions you’ve probably always wanted to ask the men in your life but were too afraid to ask. This podcast will give you insight to the inner workings of a man’s brain while simultaneously making you silent laugh.
The Success Series
Listening to Dr. Eric Thomas speak is kind of like listening to your friend’s military dad preach to you about how life is all about working hard and not taking anyone’s bullshit. The motivational speaker has 125 episodes and counting, and no matter which one you listen to, the man is bound to inspire you to get off your ass and get your shit together by the end of his speech. (I listen to his episodes while I’m on the StairMaster at the gym, if that’s any indication). Eric will kick your ass when you need it and will tell you real stories of people who turned their lives around and how you can do the same because your life is yours for the taking.
Images: Amazon (4)
