Beware Of Scorpio Season: Weekly Horoscopes October 21-25

Goodbye Libra, and hello Scorpio! You know all that friendly, go-with-the-flow energy you cultivated last month? Yeah, that’s gone now. Scorpios have a reputation for being intense (think Taylor Swift in the “Blank Space” video), meaning Scorpio season makes us all a little more likely to get a little crazy. This emotional season asks us to go deep into our own wants and desires, and is all about developing your own intuition. Sure, this can lead to some increased paranoia as you open your eyes to the world around you, but Scorpio season also has some benefits. Namely, it’s the sexiest season of the year, meaning if you play your cards right you can end this month with a few more notches on your bedpost, and some late night experiences that would make even Samantha Jones say “Oh my!” 


Speaking of Samantha Jones, this sexy, sensual season is coming straight for you, Aries. Not only is Scorpio a naturally sexy sign, but it is also chilling in your house of sensuality all month, meaning your life is about to turn into an episode of Taxi Cab Confessions. Now is not the time to be coy about what you want, especially in the bedroom. Whether you’re partnering up with someone new or someone you’ve been with for a while, now is the time to really advocate for your own desires, no matter how weird or “freaky” they might be. And pro tip for all the ladies out there, if a dude considers you wanting an orgasm to be an out of line request, steal his phone and order yourself an Uber immediately. 



Have any unfinished business left over from Libra season? Yeah, now is the time to tie that up. Preferably before Wednesday, when Scorpio will inject its iconically intense energy into your life, making you focus less on your to-do list and more on your intimate relationships. Don’t be surprised if you feel the need to call up a long lost friend or actually make that coffee date you’ve been saying you’ll make for months. Scorpio is all about going deep with people, meaning this month you’ll be way more focused on the biggest questions in the universe (“what is the meaning of life?”) than the minor questions of the day (“when was the last time I washed these jeans?”).


Put the flask down, Gemini! Scorpio season has you transitioning from party animal to work horse as the Sun heads into your house of work, organization, and healthy routines starting this Wednesday. Intense, laser-focused Scorpio is giving you all the energy you need to actually finish up some of those 2019 goals that you low-key forgot to achieve this year. Yes, there is still time Scorpio season has you transitioning from party girl to promotion girl as the sun heads into your house of work, organization, and healthy routines. Yes, there is still time to learn to meditate or run a 5k. But probs not if you spend every weekend in the depths of another epic hangover. 


This Wednesday, Scorpio lands in your flirty, fun fifth house, making you the ultimate partner right now. Single Cancers will start to find themselves attracting a lot of attention from other singles in their area, so if you haven’t downloaded Ship yet, now’s probably a good time. Coupled-up Cancers will find new ways to connect with their partner, bringing back some of that “new relationship energy” you both thought died after the first time you farted in front of each other. Single or not, Cancers should use this month to take romantic risks and expand their horizons. You might discover something new about yourself, or at least have a funny story to share at brunch. 


Take a deep breath, Leo. You’ve been in go, go, go mode since the summer, but Scorpio season is asking you to slow it wayyyy down. It’s time to bust out the ugly sweaters and and embrace the hygge energy by getting cozy as f*ck. Your need to be constantly out and about has finally extinguished and you’re ready to settle in for the cold weather months. You might not even realize how bad you need this social and emotional break, but come Wednesday, you’ll be telling everyone that you never want to hear the words “happy hour” again. 


It’s time to step into the spotlight, Virgo! Your sign typically prefers to run things behind the scenes, but confident Scorpio is pushing you to take the spotlight. Scorpio asks us all to accept our own power, meaning you’re ready to finally step into some leadership positions that should have gone to you like, yesterday. Sure, putting yourself out there can be scary, but considering how much other people f*ck up on a daily basis and get away with it, your hardworking, diligent sign could probably stand to take a few more risks and live to tell the tale.  


It’s natural to be feeling some end-of-season blues as your birthday month comes to a close, Libra, but we can’t be the center of attention all the time. Starting Wednesday, the Sun will be chilling in Scorpio and your second house of finances and security. This means you’re gonna have to tone spending way way down from last month, when you could basically justify any purchase by saying, “well it’s basically my birthday.” This month, you’re going to be glued to that pesky little number in your checking account and digging yourself out of whatever hole your birthday shopping spree, week of birthday drinks, and impromptu birthday vacation put you in. 


Welcome to your season, Scorpio! This month, everyone is going to be a little more like you, meaning you won’t be the most intense person in every room you walk into for once. You’re feeling confident and sexy, meaning you’re in an amazing position to help people connect with your inner Scorpio. As an added bonus, not having to explain yourself all the time means you’ll finally have time to work on your own sh*t and shed the baggage that is holding you back. Deep conversations, sexy strangers, and transformational experiences (aka all your favorite things) await you this month, Scorpio! Tbh the rest of the world is kind of jealous. 


Your typically outgoing sign grows introspective on Wednesday as Scorpio replaces Libra in your chart. Now is an amazing time for going through old journals, or starting a new journal if you’ve never done it before. This month is all about your connection with yourself, which can be tough for a sign that loves groups and partying so much. That said, this Scorpio energy will also give you the opportunity to experience one of the greatest feelings known to humankind: canceling plans.


Scorpio season is all about intimate connections, meaning your typically career-focused sign will be pulled to examine your work/life balance and, spoiler alert, there is none. Starting Wednesday, it’s time to apply some of that professional drive to your social life, and actually seek out new experiences or people. Go to happy hour with that coworker you think you might like. Take up an old friend on an invitation for a coffee date. Call your f*cking mom. Remember Capricorn, there’s more to life than just career success, and if you don’t have relationships with people, you won’t even have anybody around to be jealous when you do make it big. 


What were your career goals for 2019? Have you hit them? Could you do more? Scorpio season means the Sun is in your tenth house of career ambition, and you’re going to be feeling particularly motivated to get sh*t done. Two months is a lot of time, and there are probably more than a few things you could still knock off that 2019 to-do list. Sure, becoming Ariana Grande’s best friend and life coach is probably not gonna happen before January 1st, but asking your boss for a raise might! 


Get ready, Pisces. Starting Wednesday you’re going to be turning Scorpio’s intense energy on yourself, cleaning out your closet both literally and figuratively. You’re going to feel an intense need to get your sh*t together, whether it be by switching over to your winter wardrobe and donating a bunch of clothes you haven’t worn since the Obama administration, or letting go of relationships that haven’t served you since even longer. You won’t miss any of it, I promise.

Images: Giphy (12)

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.