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While it can be tempting to hold onto your makeup products like you hold onto the idea that your goal body weight is actually achievable, consider this your wake-up call.

Sure, it's the new year, and sure, according to society's standards you should be giving up all that is good and holy things in this world (vodka sodas, white wine, emotionally abusing your friends and family), but unless you need actual professional help (watch an episode of Intervention and compare yourself with that if you're unclear), I say fuck that standard.

You take your makeup off before bed (usually, unless you are suuuuppppper fucked up), you moisturize, you understand the importance of masks and facials, but even with all of that, you're probably still doing dumb shit to your poor skin.

Nothing tells the story of your face more than your eyebrows do.

I know at this point you're probably sick of me/your mom/your grandmother/your coworkers/me again talking about Kylie Jenner.

If you were a living breathing human child in the '90s then you had anywhere between 7 to 300 school supplies featuring the over-saturated designs of Lisa Frank.

Here to make you feel like a literal piece of garbage on this bleak Monday, in which you are probably hungover and very sad and a little fat, is Beyoncé.

Sorry to fall into a stereotype that matches my chromosomes, but after Googling "what is the super bowl?" I decided to give it a strong, hard pass.

Remember when there was a pretty large discrepancy between the hotness of Gigi Hadid and Bella Hadid?

The video for the song no one asked for is finally here!

Are you bummed about everything happening in the world right now?

Because America's deep-seeded daddy issues have forced us to choose the ultimate worst patriarch—Donald SMDH Trump—as our country's president, it's time to think of ways we can distract ourselves during the next four years.

As a woman who copied both the great Jackie O in sartorial choices and Michelle Obama in word choices, it should come as no surprise that the Slovenian robot Mrs.

Today, on this date, the world will go up in flames.

Selena Gomez has been ready for a while, and now she's finally getting it.

As we all know, a few months back, some janky robbers took a shit load of Kim's jewelry and held her at gun point (ew, scary!).

We're only two episodes deep in Nick Viall's season of what some people like to call The Bachelor but what I like to call Nick Viall's Tinder, but sadder and with more STIs and already Liz is whack AF.

Listen up all you alcoholics everyone.

The time has come to talk about one of the lesser-talked-about award ceremonies of the year: the Golden Globes, aka the Oscars' younger, drunker sister.

The 2000's were a dark time.

PSA: St.

With the worst 2016 trends behind us, it's time to look forward to all the weird things 2017 will bring in the name of looking pretty.

You would think that slapping orange and bright red blush on your cheeks would be a surefire way to make yourself look like a clown, but by some makeup miracle, there are many weird blush colors out there that actually don't look heinous on your skin.