Is Kim Kardashian OK?: An Investigation Based On Her New Look

As we all know, a few months back, some janky robbers took a shit load of Kim’s jewelry and held her at gun point (ew, scary!). Following the incident, KUWTK put filming on hold, Yeezus had a hospital visit, and worst—or best, depending on your viewpoint—of all, Kimmy Gone-Girled it. As in, she practically disappeared from the public eye. (S/o to Rob Kardashian for being a prophet.) 

After she got tf out of Paris, Kimmy kept a v low profile. V. Until January 3. On this date, Kim returned to the world of social media and all who had been holding their breathe (mostly just Kris) let out a huge sigh of relief (because Kris gotta make that $$$).

Since this photo, there’s been a marked change in Kim—or at least, the public persona of Kim. In the wreckage of Paris, some sort of Kimmy K rebirth has surfaced. And I’m not sure if it’s good. Or if she’s good. Or if she has moderate to severe PTSD and will never be the same. In other words, I never thought I’d say this, but I’m, like, worried about Kim Kardashian.

Take for instance, her social media. What used to be mostly pictures of her boobs and face, has now become mostly pictures of the back of her head and some fugly ass couch. Let me reiterate — the woman who once published an entire encyclopedia full of photos of her just her face — and who has built an entire empire on the way her body basically defies the constructs of bodies— is no longer showcasing her face or said body. If this isn’t cause for concern, I don’t know what is. Bible. Here’s some proof:

Kim before the terrifying heist:


Kim after:


Then, there’s the new facial jewelry scenario we need to talk about. A lip ring that appears as if it belongs to the singer of a lame alt-rock band from the mid-aughts. The woman who once said “you don’t put a bumper sticker on a bentley” now wears a large, distracting piece of face jewelry?! See:

On top of the sadness this lip ring brings, there are a couple of other things to be bothered/bummed out about in this pic. The sunglasses? The velour tracksuit? It’s as if she’s regressed to 2006, pre-KUWTK. Back when Kim was just Paris Hilton’s bitch closet organizer. Back when it was a simpler time.

Maybe that’s all this is. Kim wanting to go back to a simpler time, when all of the Kardashian/Jenner butts were just a little smaller, before we cared about who Kris Humphries was, before Khloe got hot. Or maybe she just took Karl Lagerfeld’s words seriously when he said she was “too public.” Either way, a line has been drawn in the sand between Kim and the the rest of us, and I’m unclear if things will ever return to the way they were. TBH I’m unclear if we will ever get Kim Kardashian back, and if that’s the case, then who tf will we make fun of now?!