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A Definitive Ranking Of The Past Bachelors By Hotness

I don’t know one person on the planet that isn’t excited for this year to be over. I mean, god damn. GTFO of here already. Like, I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to get older. But on top of all the terrible sh*t being over, another good thing about the arrival of 2019 is that The Bachelor comes back in January. This means I have another reason to drink what the Surgeon General would probably deem an unhealthy amount of wine on a Monday night and then judge people mercilessly. I consider those two of my greatest passions. The only downside to The Bachelor coming back is that we have to watch Colton whine about being a virgin for 10 straight weeks. Ugh, I’m already over this storyline. But whatever. It will have to do. To celebrate the show coming back, we decided to rank all of the previous Bachelors by hotness. Merry f*cking Christmas.