Life is pretty bleak right now. A decade ago, $5 was enough to make a downpayment on a house (according to our parents), and now it can’t even buy us a venti frappuccino with an extra shot of espresso. We are living in another fucking economic crisis, mere minutes after the last one ended. But there is one silver lining to this. Researchers have found that a rise in vampire media is correlated to an economic downturn. No joke!! Apparently, our obsession with bloodsuckers reflects our anxieties about death, the future, and rich people. Basically: Wall Street do bad, blood kinks do well.
The fantasy genre as a whole has always been a form of escapism, but when it comes to empty wallets and an inability to rent more than a cramped studio, we turn to the vamps. The economic crisis of 2008 also gave us Twilight and The Vampire Diaries, and who can be mad about that?! So, to help you escape the misery of the cost of living crisis like it’s the 2010s, here are 20 vampire novels so good you’ll want to take a bite — or get someone else to bite you…
Vampire Novels To Help You Escape From Real Life
Twilight by Stephanie Meyer
Obviously, I am going to mention the Queen Bee of vampire novels, and obviously, I am going to discuss it first. While the rest of you were drooling over R-Patz, I was drooling over him, and reading all the books for more vampy content (she’s a reader, guys!!). Twilight was as fundamental a part of my adolescence as my first kiss, and it did way more for my libido. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Bella is a supremely average girl who somehow attracts the attention of HOTTIE vampire Edward Cullen. They have an all-consuming romance (without sex, as our girlie Steph is a devout Mormon) and battle evil vamps and the government/Vatican, I guess? Also, there are more sexy undead Cullens. Rosalie Cullen was part of my bisexual awakening.
Thirst by Marina Yuszczuk
Set in Buenos Aires across two different time periods, Thirst is sapphic, sexy, and heartwrenching. In the nineteenth century, a vampire arrives in the city and struggles to mingle with the humans. In the present day, a woman grapples with her mother’s terminal illness and her own relationship with motherhood. The two meet in a cemetery, and a connection blossoms, one they can’t escape. This is a novel about desire, fragility, and agency. Good soup, for sure.
Woman, Eating by Claire Kohda
Okay, so imagine if you took a Sally Rooney novel but added blood-sucking to it. Now I’ve got your attention. Our main girl, Lydia, is always hungry like the rest of us, only she can’t fix it with some Chipotle or a poke bowl, nor can she eat the sashimi, ramen, and onigiri her Japanese father used to eat. Instead, Lydia needs to find fresh pigs’ blood in London, where she is living away from her vampire mother for the first time. She is struggling to get pigs’ blood and not bite Ben, the cute artist she is falling for. This is a novel about conflicting sides, namely her demon and human side, her mixed ethnic heritage, and hunger versus satiation.
Bless Your Heart by Lindy Ryan
It is 1999, and the Evans women are the owners of the only funeral parlor in their small Texan town. Duvey runs the parlor with her progeny, Lenore, and Lenore’s daughter, Grace. It’s been fifteen years since That Godawful Mess, which left two bodies in the ground and Grace raising her infant daughter, Luna, alone. But when a new body rises from the dead, it’s clear that the Strigoi―the original vampire―are back. Obviously, it’s up to the Evans women to fight them. But soon, it’s not only bodies rising from the dead but secrets and regrets as well… Drama with a big set of pearls, I tell ya.
The Serpent and the Wings of Night by Carissa Broadbent
My favorite thing about this popular vampire book is that our main human girlie was raised around vamps, so she knows how to hold her own. Oraya is the adopted daughter of the Nightborn vampire king, and she is entering the Kejari, a legendary tournament held by the goddess of death herself. She hopes to win and use the prize to protect herself. But to win, she needs to beat the most vicious warriors from all three vampire houses, including Raihn, a sexy vamp she allies with. This duology is savage and sexy, cunty and cutthroat, bloody and… well, bloody. You’ve heard of enemies to lovers, so get ready for enemies to lovers to enemies again!
Vampires of El Norte by Isabel Cañas
Vampires versus cowboys, and not just for the highly coveted position of my top sexual fantasy? You’ve heard of spaghetti westerns, but now it is time for supernatural westerns. On the Texas-Mexico border in the 1840s, Nena is the daughter of a rancher and has learned to avoid two types of monsters: the Anglo settlers from the north and the vamps that attacked her nine years ago. Since the attack, her former lover Néstor has believed her dead, and he runs from his grief with his nomadic vaquero work. But when the US attacked Mexico in 1846, the two were brought together again under the curtain of war. Can they forgive each other? Can they move past the attack? Can they defeat the Vamps and Cowboys?
My Roommate Is a Vampire by Jenna Levine
Vampire books don’t have to be vicious and dark (unless that’s your kink); they can also be silly goose love stories!! Cassie is your typical quirky protagonist renting a room from a mysterious Frederick J. Fitzwilliam. He sleeps all day (same), takes care of business at night, and talks like a Bridgerton character. But this black cat might just be a golden retriever, as he leaves her lil notes around the apartment, cares about her art, and asks about her day — IF HE WANTED TO, HE WOULD!! But then Cassie finds bags of blood in the fridge, uh oh… Look, sometimes girls just wanna have fun with a hot vamp, okay?
Black Sunshine by Karina Halle
San Francisco is the perfect setting for a vampire novel, and this series proves it. Lenore Warwick is about to turn 21 and just wants to finish her second year at Berkley, hang out with her besties, and catch the eye of a hot musician she’s lusting after. Instead, she is kidnapped by Solon, a centuries-old vampire who can’t decide if he wants to kill Lenore or save her — yum!! It turns out that Solon is a vampire, too, and when she turns twenty-one, her heritage will be put into effect. Solon wants to be there to guide her and help with her hunger… you know what kind of hunger I mean, wink wink. Dark, sexy, and filled with revenge, I want to take a big bite of this book.
This Blood That Binds Us by S.L.Cokeley
Watch me never go camping again. Not that I ever go now, but this book gives me ANOTHER reason aside from the ticks, peeing in a bush, and sleeping on the ground. Kimberly Burns expects her customary camping trip to be a calming escape from the non-stop demands of college life, but instead, she is attacked by a vampire. Aaron Calem has been trying to resist his blood lust (same buddy) since being turned into a vamp, but he can’t resist this delicious new meal. When he is faced with a pretty girl barely clinging to life, he must choose between loyalty to his brothers or his remaining morality. Forced proximity because it turns out Aaron and Kimberly go to the same university!! Then she is attacked again, and the two must team up to navigate the vampire world and find the assailant.
Certain Dark Things by Silvia Moreno-Garcia
Mexican Gothic, but make it vampy? I’m in!! Mexico City is an oasis in a sea of vampires, and Domingo is just a lowly garbage-collecting street kid trying to survive. His life is changed by the arrival of Atl, a descendent of Aztec blood drinkers (sure???) who are smart, beautiful, and lethal. No surprise, both Domingo and I immediately fall for her. Atl needs to escape the city, and the rival narco-vampire clan is relentlessly chasing her, so Domingo becomes a part of this plan. It’s kind of like Narcos energy but with blood-sucking if you want to put it bluntly.
Crave by Tracy Wolff
It’s giving Twilight but more mature and feminist. Grace enters Katmere Academy, her uncle’s exclusive and secretive boarding school, after the tragic deaths of both of her parents. She quickly realizes things are not what they seem, as she is the only mortal here. Surrounded by vampires, witches, and shapeshifters, Grace struggles to survive. Then she meets Jaxon Vega (of course, that is his name), a deadly vampire who hasn’t felt anything for a hundred years, and the two feel a strange connection. But Grace is realising that more than fate is at play here… Six books of YA vampire fun!!
From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout
No book will get BookTok more divided than this bestselling series, but that aside, it is vampy and very fucking sexy. What’s fun about this series is there are TWO types of vampires, the Ascended and the Atlanteans, and they’re very different. It also plays with the circumstances of blood drinking and traditional no-sunlight rules, which makes for a fun plot. This series has some of the most detailed world-building I think I have ever encountered, and yet Jennifer manages to stuff in the most detailed and lengthy (iykyk) sex scenes into each chapter. If you hate smut, keep walking to the next undead book. But if you never got over your crush on Edward Cullen and want to read a book alone at night with a charged tool beside you, yep, this is it!!!
The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix
IDK why so many vampire books are set in the South, but I am not complaining!! While we give me a moment to recover from the erotic stylings of the last novel, let’s take a look at a classic horror. Described as Fried Green Tomatoes and Steel Magnolias meet Dracula, you need to read this Southern charm to understand how that is even possible. It revolves around a woman’s book club in the 90s that sets out to protect its suburban community from its new neighbor, a vampire. It’s dark, gory, and hilarious. It is a must-read for people who enjoy both Desperate Housewives and Final Destination — we exist.
Anno Dracula by Kim Newman
I do love a novel that plays with history!! I can’t be the only girlie who had a weird fascination with Queen Victoria growing up (her younger years, not the “we are not amused” era), so this novel immediately caught my eye. In this multiverse, Dracula marries Queen Victoria and becomes Prince Consort, beginning an era of British vampire domination. At the same time, vampire Geneviève Dieudonné and Charles Beauregard of the Diogenes Club are trying to solve the mystery of the Jack the Ripper murders. It’s dotted with familiar characters from Victorian history and fiction, like Oscar Wilde and Mycroft Holmes (sexy Andrew Scott in the Sherlock TV show). It’s so random, but I kind of love it??
Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead
Not only can you read a bunch of books about a school for vampires, but you can then watch the one-season Peacock series or the 2014 film adaptation starring Zoey Deutsch — I LOVE HER. While the adaptations kinda flopped, the book series is so betchy and delicious. Don’t worry, it isn’t too YA, as there is sex and violence and fangs abound. Okay, let me get to the plot. Rose is a half-human, half-vampire who must do whatever it takes to protect her best friend, Lissa, the princess of the Moroi. They attend St. Vladimir’s Academy, a school for vampire royalty and their guardians-to-be, hidden deep in the forests of Montana. But danger has a way of getting through the gates, as do sexy love interests…
A Dowry of Blood by S. T. Gibson
We’ve heard [too] much about Dracula, but what about his first bride, Constanta? A medieval peasant saved from the brink of death, Constanta is soon left to a potentially worse fate as the bride for an undying king. It doesn’t take her long to realize that Dracula is capable of just about anything. What a shocker!!! She finds comfort in the arms of her rival consorts and begins to unravel their husband’s dark secrets. Not only is this vampire novel dark and sexy, but it is queer too! What more could you ask for?
Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton
Time for me to pretend to be an adult again! This is a classic 90s vamp series that will make you look so *different* and *quirky* reading it on the subway. Anita Blake is a vampire hunter who reanimates the dead and kills the undead who went too far. But when the city’s most powerful vampire asks her to help solve a series of brutal killings (whodunnit energy), she is forced to confront her undeniable attraction to master vampire Jean-Claude. While the name is kind of ick, the vamp himself is not, I’ll tell you that much.
The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris
Also known as The Sookie Stackhouse Novels or the TRUE BLOOD NOVELS!! Your fav brooding HBO vampires started as a book series!! Taking place in small-town Louisiana, this series is set in an alternative universe where vampires now freely walk among humans (after sunset) thanks to TrueBlood, a synthetic blood replacement. In fact, our main girlie, Sookie Stackhouse, has started dating one of them. But when bodies are turning up, Sookie and her new beau, Bill, must get to the bottom of it. Many books follow with shapeshifters, werewolves, maenads, and much more.
Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore
Romance and vampires work weirdly well together despite the whole no-heart-will-slaughter-you vibes they’re giving. This time, it’s the unexpected love story between Jody and Tommy. Jody never asked to be a vampire (unlike me, I am literally asking!!); she woke up that way in an alley dumpster. She’s struggling to adjust to her new way of life when she meets Tommy, a would-be Kerouac from Indiana. He can’t resist this beautiful redhead, even with the slight red flag of her being undead. It’s like a campy 80s movie but modern and fun!! Let’s just have fun, right??
Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo
Is it really a vampire novel? Weeeeeelll, it has vampires in it!! It also has demons, dark academia, secret societies, occult magic, literal Hell, and more. Alex is given a second chance and the impossible opportunity to attend Yale on a full ride. The catch? Alex must use her ability to see ghosts to monitor the activities of Yale’s secret societies. Leigh attended Yale herself, and many of these societies are real, only I doubt they’re cutting up bodies to predict the stock market (I think? Can a Finance Bro confirm?). This novel is grim but seductive, and it isn’t afraid to criticize class structures, religion, and Ivy League universities. Also I pledge my full allegiance to Daniel Arlington.
