Here Are Your Weekend Horoscopes For September 15-17


You know that old saying “a rolling stone gathers no moss,” right? Well this weekend you’re disregarding it because it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Moss is gross? Why would a rock want to be covered in it? Does a rock gain any ecological advantage by covering itself in moss? Why are we all so content to let the things that old men say become bouts of wisdom for centuries to come?

I digress. This weekend, Aries, you are gathering no moss because you are not going to stop moving for one second. You have countless social responsibilities; you are not going to abandon a single one and you’re pulling out looks at all of them. Get ready to be exhausted and full of blisters come Monday. But hey, that’s what it takes to retain your status as the life of the party.

Just Keep Swimming


Sometimes you just need to know when to give up, Taurus. You know the whole “quit while you’re ahead” thing? Well, you’re two miles behind and while your dedication to keeping up was kind of admirable at first, now it’s just sad. There is such a thing as bowing out graciously, and now is your time to try it. You’ll feel better not having to put on a front 24/7, and everyone else will feel better about not having to watch your train wreck in action. It’s a win-win.


You’ll have a decision to make this weekend, Gemini: either take the next step and leap into the unknown or stay where you are. Depending on your situation, either could be the right move. In my oh so humble opinion, if there’s a situation in which you’re even considering taking a risk and changing things up, you should do it. Not because I’m a monster for change or anything, but because if you’re at the point where you’re already thinking about it, you probably need it. Don’t be afraid to seek the counsel of friends. An outside perspective is always useful, and a good friend will encourage you to make the move that’s best for you.



Let this weekend serve as a preview for the next month, Cancer. Let the next two days set your course for the foreseeable future. Use them as a jumping off point into the person you want to be. Fall is coming and it makes all of us wistful for a better, cleaner version of ourselves. Find that. Take the time this weekend to sort yourself out and learn what it is that you need to move forward from here. Just think how on point your fall fashion game will be with your life suddenly put together.


Dare we say it, Leo, but this is a weekend for branching out. Your tried and true friends will understand (maybe) but don’t let their potential anger stop you. Sometimes you just need to see what else is out there, you know? This is the weekend for taking that work friend up on her offer for drinks. Or reaching out to an acquaintance who lives in town but you never actually see. Whatever it is, do something new and exciting. You can always head back to your comfort zone come Monday, but try being adventurous until then.


This weekend is the start of something new for you, Virgo. You’re turning over a new leaf, and you know what’s on the other side. Some god damned LOOKS. You’ve been in a bit of a hibernation mode lately, which is fair considering all the things that were on your plate. But now, with a little weight off your shoulders, you’re ready to remind the world how much of a boss you are, and how good you look while being on. Take some fashion chances this weekend; as long as they’re paired with all-out confidence, you’re bound to pull it off.

Start Of Something New


Recent upheavals in your life, both good and bad, have left you filling a little adrift, Libra. You may be tempted to fill the void with fancy meals and extravagant nights out, and we’re here to tell you to keep doing that. Change is scary and sometimes you need the comfort of a nice glass of wine and some risotto that you absolutely cannot afford. Let this weekend be your last hurrah, and get back to being moderately fiscally responsible on Monday.


Success is coming your way, Scorpio, but nothing is a guarantee. While you may be on the right track now, that doesn’t mean you couldn’t be derailed by just about any one of your self-destructive tendencies. This weekend, stay the course and keep working towards that finish line. It may not be as exciting as a night out with the girls but soon, with some work, you’ll be able to fund everyone’s nights out. Not that you should, those bitches can pay for their own vodka.


This is a weekend for putting yourself out there, Sagittarius. Let’s face it, you’re young, you’re hot, and you’re not always going to be both of those things. Take advantage while you can, and don’t hesitate to go all out. Feel like a red lip is too bold? Who cares! Wear it! Not sure if you can pull off that new jacket that you bought kind of drunk when you were feeling confident? Guess what! You can pull off anything! (don’t hold me to that).

TL;DR: You are the shit and this weekend you should let the world know it. Go forth and slay.



You, as well as the rest of the us, have a tendency to remember things better than they actually were, Capricorn. It’s why you have that tendency to go back to exes, forgive friends, and generally just keep diving into your past. This weekend an opportunity will arise for you to break out those rose colored glasses and I am here to tell you to not to do it. Somethings are best left in the past, and this will be one of them. Try your best to remember all the reasons it didn’t work in the first place rather than reminiscing on the good times. Trust me, you’ll be better for it.


It’s finally happening, Aquarius. You’re making the moves that you’ve imagined countless times, and for better or for worse it’s a step in the right direction. This weekend, be sure to stoke the fire that propelled you into action in the first place. Now is no time to lose your ambition, not when you’ve just gotten started.


You’re about to embark on an adventure, Pisces, and it’s about damn time. Not to go all Eat, Pray Love on you, but use this time to really discover yourself. It’s insane how different you can be in a new place with no familiar faces. You’ll learn a lot about who you are as a person, and it might not all be good. But that doesn’t matter! For the first time in your life, you get to spend time unequivocally devoted to yourself. Don’t waste it.