Here Are Your Weekend Horoscopes For December 22nd-24th

Merry Christmas weekend, you ho ho ho! Sure, you’re probably spending this weekend trapped with your family or stuck in your hometown, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up on your dreams of being drunk all weekend long. The winter solstice on Thursday signals a new beginning for you, even if that beginning is getting to wear sweatpants exclusively for the next two weeks.


The Moon in Aquarius in your social house is super convenient because you’ll actually want to socialize over the weekend, even if it’s just with your weird family. Careful, Aries, your gift of the gab could get you in trouble when you start with yuletide cocktails and end with telling your aunt about the time you had cum in your hair.


It’s really important that you act like a Kardashian hiding a pregnancy this weekend. Keep it on the low. You have some shit going on behind the scenes right now, and this weekend is probably not the best time to reveal your deep dark secrets. Stay shady until the new year.

Shade Balls


You’re feeling a little more emotionally in-tune as the Moon in Aquarius heightens your desire to be more spiritual. It could just be the benzos you popped on the plane home, but you feel, like, really at peace with how you’re ending 2017. Spend this weekend being chill—you can worry about getting back to your (#motivational #girlboss) grind in January.


Let’s face it, your Christmas shopping has pretty much been all for yourself so far, and now you’re in a crunch to not seem like a selfish biotch (again) this year. Mercury turning direct in Sagittarius will help you focus on your mission to not murder anyone on your final trip to the mall.

Nene Leakes


A moon in Aquarius is lighting up your partnership zone, inspiring you to have a much needed heart-to-heart with a friend or family member. Let’s be honest, that “heart-to-heart” might just be you drunkenly and tearfully expressing your love for the family dog while you’re home for the holiday.


Spontaneity will be your guide this weekend. Stay busy by creating a drinking game for your family’s weird behavior in your head. Whatever you do, this is not the weekend to unload all your relationship problems on your mom. She’s got enough shit to worry about with your alcoholic aunt Carole staying at the house this Christmas.


A Moon in Aquarius is lighting up your sector of romance, heightening your desire to get closer with your significant other. Are you spending your first Christmas together? Are you going to be one of those disgusting couples who gets engaged on Christmas morning? Whatever it is, those cheesy-ass Hallmark movies are really speaking to your soul this year.

Love Actually


The support from the Sun and Saturn is giving you confidence to reveal your truth this weekend. If that’s not a recipe for disaster, I don’t know what is. Like, try your best not to embarrass your self and your entire family at Christmas dinner. No one wants to hear about the time the condom got stuck while they’re attempting to enjoy a nice a roast ham, Lauren.


Your weekend horoscope indicates you’ll want to express yourself and creativity with your appearance this weekend. You know, like, you’ll probably see how creatively you can make yoga pants and sweaters look put-together. Putting on real pants again can wait until 2018, right?



Money please! The Moon in Aquarius in your money zone heightens your desire to earn more in the new year… errrr, at least save more. Maybe start by not spending all the money you get for Christmas on post-Christmas sales. Let’s be honest, you probably picked up enough for yourself while you were supposed to be picking shit out for your sister, right?


The moon in your sign on Friday is pulling on your emotions. It could be your period, or you could be your horoscope that’s making you feel like you’re about to weep at literally any point in the day all weekend long. Joy to the world, right? Taking some time alone if you’re off your game will get you back on track, i.e. retreat to your childhood bedroom for a good cry.

Glass Case Of Emotion


The moon in your sign Saturday has you looking inward and doing some self-evaluation. Gross. The end of the year is always sort of a contemplative time for you, and this year is no different. Saturn and the Sun will give you the power to clap back to any family members who question your life choices from the past year. Only you can be the judge of if you’re truly living your best life or not, right?

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